Top Ten Girl Rules

So one day, long ago, Chocolateer and I were talking about these unspeakable girl rules that are out there. We decided to document, though it is against the rules, said rules for the world to see. I found them last night and was thinking that I should share them with the world. I mean, I don't follow a single rule ON this list...which makes me question my own gender. So many of the women I know do though...so without further introduction:

Top Ten Girl Rules

1. Never openly ask for anything. That would be rude and selfish. Instead whine incessantly about your problems until someone volunteers to help you. (if they don't volunteer to help, be pouty and sullen and gossip about them behind their back for being insensitive)

2. Never tell a person if you are angry at him or her. That's WAY too confrontational. Instead tell everyone else that you are angry, because it's important to vent your feelings. Give the person you are angry with the cold shoulder. If they really care about you, they'll be concerned enough to figure out what's wrong.

3. Be totally derisive toward any activity or characteristic that is typically males, but me mortally offended if anyone makes the slightest potentially negative comment about women. These are enlightened times, after all.

4. Don't confuse issues with the facts of the matter. If you feel one way about something, its completely insensitive and inconsiderate of anyone to try and reason you back to reality.

5. You deserve to spend money on new shoes, clothes, make up, craft supplies, hairdos, manicures, purses and any other personal items. You need these things. Be shocked and argumentative when the man in your life buys a new power tool, fishing rod, or computer upgrade. These boys have to grow up and scale down their toys sometime.

6.When you go to someone to garner sympathy about a difficulty you are having, be hurt and offended if they dare suggest a possible solution to your problem. If they are male, cry and then refuse to tell him why you are crying. Do this in spite of the existence of rule number 1.

7. If a girlfriend or female acquaintance gets a new haircut, dress or is about to embark on a new undertaking in her life, smile and be very supportive. Lie if you must. After all, there will be plenty of opportunity to discuss your real thoughts on the matter behind her back.

8. Your a model of modern feminism, self-confidence and woman power. Anyone suggesting otherwise is obviously trying to pull you down. It is only because you are so fulfilled that you are secure enough to constantly ask "Does my hair look ok?" "Does this dress make me look fat?" "Do these shoes match my outfit?" "Well, what are you going to be wearing?"

9. You are a mature woman, able to discuss and resolve major life issues, run a business, and manage teams of people. Therefore, when dealing with men on a personal basis, remember, sex and tears are your main tools of trade and manipulation.

10. DENY every item on this list. VEHEMENTLY deny that you are, in fact, a girlie girl.

so, from now on...I'm not denying I'm a girlie girl. I'll let everyone judge that for themselves. I will, however, never follow a rule ON this list *grins*