This...is my favorite coffee mug. It was given to me by a guy I call T-Shirt, because of reasons I cannot discuss on a blog. I adore this mug. I often get grumpy when I can't use it for my coffee. It makes me grin every time I see it.Makes me think of Chaz (my halfling D&D character) which is what T-Shirt intended. Makes me think of myself when I was just Impossible and not Impossible-mom. Which is a good thing. lately, I have needed many reminders that I'm not JUST "mom" but am also still Impossible alone too.
Being a stay at home mom is tough. You work long hours for no pay and for people that generally do their best to go against what you want them to do. If done right, its a pretty invisible job. Add in special needs and it becomes an ever-loving stress MACHINE. One often loses them self in the never ending streams of requests and tasks that need to be done. It also doesn't help me that most of my friends that I like to hang out with are guys. That most of those guys are where during the day? At work. Hell, most of the women are at work too.
I'm a social animal. i admit it. I also admit to having an unhealthy view of women. That would come from me having my heart cut out by several. Again, not things I wish to share on an open blog, but lets just say I seem to befriend the bottom 3% of them. Makes one leery to join play groups. Add into the fact that most women don't like me. Its either the fact that their husbands think I'm cool or they are threatened by my confidence. It can't be that I'm so beautiful...so its more than likely one of those two things.
So yes...Being social I spend some of my day on IM. Most of my day chasing children. The coffee cup serves as a reminder back to the days when I would play magic all afternoon. We would stay up till 4am playing D&D. Hit movies and breakfast out on the weekends. Sleep in till noon if I wished. Saturdays were for watching cartoons, not doing laundry. generally living life for yourself instead of others.
Now I wouldn't trade my kids or the husband....I sometimes wish i could rewind a bit and visit those days...if just for a while.
2 comments:
The nice thing about knowing you for so long is that I've recognized your impossibility long before you ever tacked 'MOM' onto there. I love you for you, and I love your kids because they're your kids (and they're adorable).
Now that I've been terribly sappy, I'm going to puke a little in my mouth :P
*mwah* (that was a pre-puke kiss)
Hey J- I'm a workin' Mom, not a stay-at-home Mom, but I totally get what you mean about getting lost and having to re-find yourself and wishing you could go back and visit the old days once in awhile. When I'm not at work, I'm totally immersed in "kid world" and I don't always have alot of interaction with other adults at work, either. At least not on the social level. So, sometimes you come out of the fog for a moment and blink in the bright light of the outside world and get a glimpse of your old self for just a moment and realize you miss her terribly and wonder where she went for so long? But, blink again and the fog envelopes you once more and you are once again just "Mommy".
(Okay, I realize this sounds all rambly and probably makes little sense...)
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