Impossible Mom

Schools in!

2011-09-04T19:45:00.002-04:00

The summer is over and we are all grateful (since it was such a hot one). The boys started a new school this year for third grade. So far, it seems to be going very well! They miss their teacher (pictured left), but they get to see her still.

Both boys are listening very well! Licker is trying all kinds of new foods! He is throwing away his trash and cleaning up his messes (and throwing away the towels, but we'll work on that. Only needs slight encouragement to clean up! Trouble is cleaning up without being asked. Anticipating things (like bedtime yogurt) and getting the yogurt and omega out of the fridge for Daddy. He is also getting in a LOT less trouble.

We are SO very proud. We hope the year will only continue to improve and our happy boys continue to do SO very well!

You make the Kool Aid better

2011-04-28T07:50:00.002-04:00

So we are putting the whole potty thing behind us for the moment. I'm trying to forget about it, at least until my ego is a bit less bruised and they seem a bit more ready. We are instead trying to end the withholding of poo once and for all! (hopefully) but enough with the body functions talk!

I have a saying and this saying dates back to right after high school. I was rooming with my two best friends (one who eventually dumped us to get married...but tha'ts another story). We would take turns doing things. One of those things was making Kool Aid.
(for those of you who might not know about koolaid) So, this process involved adding a cup of sugar and a packet of chemicals to 2 quarts of water. Stir and the process is complete. My roommates used to try and con me into doing by saying "you make the kool aid better". This has become a phrase in my life when I or someone else is trying to get someone to do something just because they don't want too.

So beware of friends asking for Kool Aid! :)

Count Down...5 days left!

2011-04-03T20:57:00.001-04:00

We have 5 days left until the start of the intensive. Tomorrow is my planning meeting with CITE. Then I start gathering things to get set up. Wish me luck!

Spring was Delayed

2011-03-29T21:59:00.003-04:00

They tell me the groundhog saw his shadow...or whatever it is that makes spring come early. The problem is that it came early..and left even earlier! We had temps in the 70's last week. We were wearing shorts and opening windows. Heck, we were even sweating! Then this week comes along and so far, we barely got above 40. The First two days of spring break looked like this:
What is WRONG with these pictures? WINTER COATS. Lets lose the need and get some warmth into our spring break...please?

Oh Yes it's POTTY time, and the feelin's right!

2011-03-17T18:49:00.002-04:00

Oh yes. We are going there. No, not there. That picture is the beautiful version of other people's potty time. Those 5 of you who happen to read my blog know that will not be how this works.

First of all, my children are 8, and have autism. We are doing them one at a time. The intensive method where you spend ALL DAY in the potty.

No, I don't mean in a "I ate some bad fish" kind of way. I mean a "Sit and stare at your child on the potty for hours and hours from waking until bedtime" kind of way.

We are starting with Licker. He stays dry for the longest time so we figured he was the most ready. We start on April 8th at 6:30am. Once he wakes, all his food and some of his kinda fun toys will be in or near the Potty. We sit him for 30 min and if he doesn't pee he gets a 2 min break. There is a lot of math involved so I'm hoping that I'll be able to read my notes after the third hour of watching him scream on the potty.

Yes, I could be optimistic and hope that he trains the first day. Actually, I do hope, but I am also a realist and know that there is a possibility this will continue for up to 5 more days (because at that point Trouble needs dental surgery). I'm hoping for the best. if any of you want to stop by and laugh or try and save my sanity...you know where I am :)

Lets hope the weekend doesn't end with this!

It's Finally Here

2009-08-21T09:12:00.003-04:00

Here they are...all dressed and ready for the first day of ALL DAY SCHOOL. Yes, its what every stay at home mom dreams about. Having their kids in school all day. For me, it is finally here!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love little Licker and Trouble up there...but they were bored and a handful and are waking up every morning excited and happy to go to school. This is good for everyone all around!

What am I going to do with myself? (you ask) I do plan on getting some type of part time work, but for now....I am enjoying the freedom of days without children.

I thought you might want to share in all of our joy. Happy kids, happy mom...happy daddy too! its a good thing all around!

Now if only I could find my sanity.....

So I was tagged

2009-06-30T11:49:00.003-04:00

By piglet a while back to do the seven deadly vices.

Sinful Nature

"Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don’t tell you. Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up. If you are tagged with this Meme, lie to me. Then tag 7 other folks (one for each deadly sin) and hope they can lie."

So, because its me, I'm purposefully NOT tagging anyone else. Here are mine:

Pride -- What is your biggest contribution to the world?
I am a shinning example of womanhood. I can be proud that I have contributed over-abundant amounts of girlishness into this life. Women just want to BE me.

Envy -- What do your coworkers have that you wish was yours?
The coworkers in my fabulous office all drive these great cars. I wish I had a convertible or some fancy sports car to tool around in. I'd look so fetch.

Gluttony -- What did you eat last night?
As little as I could. I eat like a bug these days (you can't say bird anymore, they figured out they eat like 5 times their weight). I rarely eat. I survive on health drinks. Its better this way.

Lust -- What really lights your fire?
More than a look, its a lifestyle. I adore EMO guys. You know the ones with a cause and the misery that surrounds them. SO hot.

Anger -- What is the last thing that really ticked you off?
Someone who went out of the house without makeup. I mean come on, ladies. Nature didn't intend for us to look this good without help!

Greed -- Name something you hoard and keep from others.
Games. I keep games from others. I want to play them alone and imagine the other player. That way I am ALWAYS the winner.

Sloth -- What’s the laziest thing you ever did?
I spent the whole weekend in bed. I did absolutly nothing but read and eat and sleep. I even moved a fridge and a hot plate into my room so I didn't have to get out of bed!

My Mindset

2009-06-21T16:33:00.000-04:00

Teaching the almost unteachable....

2009-06-10T13:48:00.002-04:00

It's frustrating. I can't even begin to explain just how frustrating teaching children with autism can be. Even with help, it's still a very hard process. I'll try and simplify it for those of you who haven't seen it first hand.

Take the most stubborn child you know. Got em in your head? ok...now take away that child's ability to speak. Also limit their understanding of body language and social graces. Sit them down and try and teach them something and you have an example of teaching a child with autism.

Are my kids overly stubborn like that child you know? Not most of the time. The reason I use that as a base is because they have decided that I do not belong in the role of teacher. It ups the stubborn factor quite considerably.

You can't explain the steps. You can't demonstrate them, well you can to an extent, but not really. You can't get across what it is you really want them to do. So what do you do? You make a plan, try and find a reinforcer that works (ie something they like, like candy or books) and you attempt to drive it home with lots of repetition. You become flexible. You learn to think outside the box and around issues. You pound your head against a lot of walls when no one is looking.

It never ends. Once you break through, you get them to learn something, no matter how small. The next thing is there....waiting. Learn to drink from a cup? Here, use a fork too. Learn to put on your shoes, now can we tie them? I know it is like this with "normal" children too. It is just amplified with children with learning disabilities.

So that is my rant....my venting for today. I'm tired of being a teacher. I'd like, for once, it to be easy.

When you think you know your kinda a little....insane

2009-05-21T07:24:00.003-04:00

Most people list out the signs that you are a stay at home mom...or signs you have been home with your kids too long. Here are some of the other signs that may show you that you are the parent who stays home with kids with special needs.

1. Your friends think you have Tourette Syndrome because your either constantly repeating yourself or you have to model speech like saying "I want milk" all the time.

2. You find yourself moving to help everyone get dressed. Your 16 year old nephew does NOT need help with his shoes, thank you very much.

3. You find yourself giving instructions to other adults in a sing song voice.

4. Wait...Adults? What are those? Oh..those people you see from afar in the grocery store avoiding you and your screaming child....who happens to be screaming, but happy.

5. People you talk with online wonder if your trying to be mysterious with those long afks or are you really that absent minded.

6. People who don't have kids come to visit and leave never wanting kids...at all.

7. Your list of babysitters shortens instead of growing as your children get older.

8. You have the "bag of every need". Anyone who knows you knows that you carry anything you could possibly need in it...you know, just in case?

9. You know all the words to almost every children's song there is. These shows weren't meant to be played for THIS long.

10. You laugh....a lot. Maybe even to the point that people think you are insane. Sometimes it's better to laugh than to cry.

It has been a long 6 years, let me tell you. I am looking forward to all day camp, 3 days a week for 2 months this summer and for all day school 5 days a week in the fall. Adult world, you may not be ready for me...but here I come!

Rewarding, challenging, rough, and long are but small words to describe my job. Will be nice to have some extra hands helping me along my way. Those morning cuddles and afternoon hugs make it all worthwhile though.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T11:56:00.002-04:00

I cannot say it any better so I won't even try:

http://www.parentingthespecialneedschild.com/parenting_special_needs_c/2007/05/happy_mothers_d.html

Happy mothers day to all the parents of "normal" kids too. You also have your trials!

Over a Month

2009-05-08T08:09:00.003-04:00

Yes, I know...it HAS been over a month since I blogged. Yes, I KNOW Maven blogs like every other day. Even procrastinator Piglet blogs more than I do. I have found that I don't like blogging about the negatives. Its depressing, and doesn't help, and I don't think its productive. So :P

We have started down the potty training road with Trouble. He sits on the potty for 3 min at a time at scheduled times 8 times a day. (most days) He is fine with this...mostly. We have only had one small success. I'm hoping the fact that I let him wash his hands (aka play in the water) when he does go will start to click more. They say have patience...I sure am trying. Second week this week, so we'll see.

Confirmed that we are accepted by camp to go to camp when I realized, yesterday, that we have only 3 weeks of school left. *gasp* Camp is waiting on approval of the level one waiver. Contacted my facilitator to see what the hold up is. Between school and camp is 2 weeks. 2 whole weeks of kids home 24 hours a day. Can you say HELP?!?

In comes the call for respite help. We are currently pouring through the list of providers in our area and starting that process. Hoping to have found someone that can lend a had those 2 weeks. If not, we yell for Captain Huggyface and hope he answers and isn't busy with his girlfriend that whole time.

Me? Um...I'm trying to slug through and chip away at all the organizational stuff I really need to do around here. I'm trying to decide what I'm going to look for as a part time job come the late summer/early fall. I'm enjoying the very close friends I have made, or re found in the past year and the joy that they bring to my life daily. I'm trying to come together with The Master and instead of pushing our stress off on each other, trying to have some effort to relieve some of it instead. all in all....I'd say I'm keeping my head above water. thats good, no?

I'm looking forward to 9pm-330pm camp where they take a bus from tricounty...so I'm betting it will be more like 830-4 camp 3 days a week. Drama Queen says shes taking them swimming every week on one of the other days. I say that will probably turn into maybe every other week. Regardless...its a few more hours. I'm hoping to have some straight time to look for work, get some of this house stuff done, be able to exercise and to recharge. Them being in school full time next year is an extreme light for us. School seems to be able to teach them things they just won't let us.

all in all, I'd say I'll be happier after June 15th ;) but I'm not doing too bad. They giggle lots and ask for kisses and tickles with their cards. We are treading water nicely, I'd say...for now.

They are six.....

2009-04-09T08:57:00.002-04:00

April is Autism Awareness month. April Second is Autism Awareness Day. April Second is ALSO their birthday. I find this rather ironic.

Yes...they are six. Six years old. Can you believe it? I sure can't. They are 5 months from all day school. 2 months from all day camp 3 days a week. Less than a year (we really hope) from potty training.

We celebrated with new books and computer games and the plague. Yeah, we have all been passing around illnesses here. Trouble just broke his fever yesterday and is curled up on the couch again today. They actually did, as you can see, make it to school for their birthday and their birthday party and Mom and Faerie scrubbed floors and vacuumed while they were gone. Yeah...I live the life.

So happy birthday you cute Munchkins. May your sixth year of life be better than your fifth and may the trend continue.

In which I explain why its not good to be me

2009-03-29T15:22:00.002-04:00

Trouble...with a capitol T, you see. He is the reason no one wants to be me. I've tried selling him...trading him...leaving him on the corner with a free sign, nothing works. He is ALL BOY with added Autism.

You see...while Licker is quietly playing computer, or actually *gasp* playing with toys, Trouble is destroying. Random Tokyo big lizard destroying. If he was was a cartoon character, he would be stitch! We scream his name more than anything else in this house. The only thing he will actually play with is books....which he sometimes rips. Everything else must be thrown as far and from as high as he can get to make the biggest noise it can so he can cover his ears after it does.

he needs a hobby. An interest. BESIDES eating playdoh and throwing my bowls across the room. I will bake a whole pan of brownies to the person that gives me the idea that works to keep him busy for longer than 10 minutes.

Drink anyone? I'll have 4.

Silk Anniversary anyone?

2009-03-18T10:34:00.002-04:00

So its our 12th anniversary which means silk. Silk...I think Lingerie. I went shopping for silk lingerie and what do you know, its ALL polyester! No silk in stores at all. Went to 5 different stores and was a tad put out. So...I'm ordering it online. This site actually had silk AND plus size and I highly recommend them:
http://www.wildfree.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=plus-size-lingerie
Very stylish and tasteful and SILK! *grins*

so tomorrow is the big day and I won't have it by then, but I'm sure he won't mind if I make it up to him later. Anyone wanna guess which ones I ordered? *grins*

Update anyone?

2009-03-10T08:12:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I've been a blog slacker. But isn't that what blogs are for? For you to write in when YOU want too? yeah, thats what I thought too. Here is a picture of licker and trouble to start. yes they are getting huge.

What cuties though. They have been doing fairly well in school. Licker is matching like 30 some words to pictures and giving his teacher the number of objects she asks for. They are going to start sentence structure soon. Trouble is doing well with tracing numbers and letters. He's also doing great on counting lines. We have their IEP this week.

We have also been gathering paperwork for Camp Stepping Stones. AND for their Level One Waiver which will help pay for more respite care (for those who don't know, thats babysitting for children with disabilities) and for camp. We are also headed back to swimming lessons again today. Should be all around a good thing.

Me? Um...I'm doing paperwork, figuring out a potty plan for Trouble (we all agree Licker isn't there yet), trying to keep the house clean...or somewhat clean, and oh, going with Mischief and Master to....Yny's house to play Rockband every other Wednesday. That is my fun.

So there you have it. My almost 6 year olds, me and what not. Not all that exciting, but I think were making it through life at the moment. Speak of trouble, he is now awake. Peaceful time with Licker is over *winks*.

Piss or Get Off the Pot

2009-02-22T11:19:00.002-05:00

This has become my motto of late. Whining, bitching, gripping, complaining...all these things are counterproductive to a good life. Venting is the only "complaining" thats worth it. "Whats the difference" you ask. Well let me tell you...

Vent:
a means of exit or escape; an outlet, as from confinement.
expression; utterance; release: to give vent to one's emotions.
to give free play or expression to (an emotion, passion, etc.): to vent rage.
to give public utterance to: to vent one's opinions.

Complain:
to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault: He complained constantly about the noise in the corridor.
to tell of one's pains, ailments, etc.: to complain of a backache.
to make a formal accusation: If you think you've been swindled, complain to the police.

So....Venting is the release. As in let it go and then go do something about it. Complaining is to express...which we all know just leads to more. Venting is ok. Venting you spew forth and then its over. Complaining/whining is NOT.

So..Piss or get off the pot, I say. Vent...vent to me ALL you want. but when the time comes and I hear the same vent again, its become complaining. Complaining is stressful and I have enough stress in my life. Ask for advice, I'll happily give it. If you just want to vent, I'll listen. These are all things I am good at. No more complaints....no more added stress...I'm on a stress diet.

I like that. A stress diet. I get enough in my day to day life that I'm cutting it out elsewhere. Some may think that makes me a bad friend. Bah...then go find a new one! The ones who get it...the ones who know. They'll stick by me and I'll do the same for them.

Stress diet...only venting from here on out!
you have been warned.

Lor' luv a duck, my Twist's and Rob Roy's?

2009-02-16T08:07:00.004-05:00

Yes....that was English. I was just Cockney Rhyming English. Yes...it does still exist.

As most of you know, I play a lot of RPGs. I have been getting back into Vampire the Masquerade of late. I play a Nosferatu that is originally from the UK and speaks mainly in Cockney Rhyming English. As you can probably guess, I do not even attempt this in a table top live setting. Not only would I have to internalize the language, but then I would have to watch about 17 hours of My Fair Lady to pick up the accent.

No.

This is best done in bulliton board settings where I can use my new-found, handy-dandy dictonary and come off sounding awesome.

So what did I say up there? I said what is up my Girl's and Boy's. Twist is short for twist and twirl which rhymes with girl. Boy rhymes with Rob Roy. There ya have it! no need to get yourself in a bit-o' barney or anything.

Tom Hanks to all my plates!

Therapy and Good Weeks

2009-02-05T09:26:00.002-05:00

Yeah...I said the T word. No, boys...not THAT T word. You know thats what you were thinking when you gave me that look. Don't try to tell me otherwise!

Therapy. I said it...Therapy! Yes, I'm going to pay someone (or my insurance company is) to listen to me talk. "But impossible, why should you pay someone when you have ALL these wonderful friends?" Yes, yes, I know I have wonderful friends. They also have wonderful lives and...biased opinions. I think it best to go talk to someone who is unbiased and paid to listen to me. Lets hope it helps *wink*.

Good weeks. Therapy or not, this has been a really good week. Would of been BETTER if I got to Rockband last night, but last night went well anyway. Even with a snow day, its been a good week. The boys are more behaved and life is just going better. I can't really nail down one MAJOR reason, but I figure why look a gift horse in the mouth? I don't like counting teeth anyway. AND it's rude!

So yeah...only one easy boss to go in Naxx tonight and were to the hard one. Time to chew some glass...but even that can be fun at times. Plus I got lots of upgrades tuesday..which is always good. I'm a happy Pally! Mally the happy Pally...has a nice ring to it. *grins*

So there ya have it. Thats my update...not all that and a few bags of chips, but its my life. Hope its not all that boring for my 2 readers ;)

Raiding is for days that start with T

2009-01-30T15:45:00.002-05:00

Mmmmm. I do so love to Raid. We have been trying to get a full clear on Naxx. Got all but that last pesky dragon down. 4 wings! We are doing very well for as long as we have been actually raiding. Raiding isn't just about the bosses...the violence....the healz...and the PHAT LEWTZ!!!!

No...not JUST about those things. It's also about giving Riddle-me-this crap when he fucks up. About him giving me crap when I do (yes, we are the tanks). Its about DPS races. It's about picking up Vice's corpse over and over again. It's about listening to Sleep's accent over vent. About The Professor's patented line of "ok, so what happened there?" It is about all the various quarks and foibles that happen as we spend 4 hours of our lives 2 times a week working as a ten man team.

Socialization. Sad but true, there you have it. WoW may be a game...but it is a game of LIVE people. many who I have come to care a ton about. They brighten my night, make me smile and help me in many ways. I would have no other guild but The Honor Guard. I feel happy and welcome every time I am online with them. They are a great bunch of human beings and a damn fun group to play with.

So yes...its sad, but its still socializing. And the great part is that not a one of us has to leave our houses! Hooray for Vent!!!

Merenwen Oronar

2009-01-26T10:05:00.000-05:00

(This is my character history for The Jedi's game. Had to put mine up since Chocoleteer put hers up!)

*Clang* Focus…step left, pivot on your right foot. Block. Left hand needs to be free! Speak the words. Look left. Parry that BLOW! Aim. Let loose the magic. NO! NOT THERE!!!! …damn.

“Take a break.”
I sighed internally and put down my sword. I knew what I should be doing. Franklin knew that I knew this. Dustin leaving has me all flustered. If I can’t concentrate through that distraction, how was I ever going to do this for real?

Franklin moved the obliterated water trough and set back up the target for my ray of frost. He moved to my side and put his hand on my shoulder. “Merenwen,” he said, “if you want to stop training today, I understand.” I shook my head, not trusting my own voice. I stood up and took a deep breath, attempting to focus.

The valley fades. I’m little again and Dustin and I had snuck off. We were supposed to be doing chores, but the fields of poppies near his aunt’s house called to us. We had found a way underground on the east side. We figured it used to be some animals home, long abandoned. To us, it was anything and everything our imaginations wanted it to be. Today, it was the hull of a pirate ship. We each had sticks and we were fighting our way through pirates to rescue the lord’s daughter. We fought together as a team. We always had.

After rescuing the girl, we collapsed in a pile and a fit of giggles. We lay there, catching our breath, my head on his stomach and his arm around me. “Wen?” he asked “We’re going to do this forever, right? I mean, I never want to grow up and be apart. You and me, Wen, its all we need!” I answer with a grin. Dustin’s Saturday speech. Either that or his father is riding him again about his training. He leaned up and was looking for my confirmation. “Yes Dustin. We are the best team ever. You are my best friend!” He laid back down smiling.

I came back to reality and lifted up my sword. I swallowed back the tears that threatened to cloud my vision. It was a dumb childhood fantasy and a silly children’s game. It wasn’t destiny. I looked down at my birthmark for a moment before concentrating again. The bladesingers of the Fenwen forest didn’t always work in pairs. There were plenty who stood alone.

My sword clashed against the shield that Franklin had on his right arm. I spun on my left foot and my sword flew to clash with his. My left hand flew up and I felt the magic pour off my tongue as the ray slammed into the dummy to my left. My blade moved to block Franklin’s down swing and he smiled at me. “Much better, Merenwen, much better.”

After cleaning off my blade and helping to straighten back up the training ground, I found my feet moving me towards home. My mind was spinning and taking me back a few years.
“It’s not my fault!” Dustin cried at me. He was pacing the floor of the shed behind his aunt’s house. I was sitting in the chair, trying to be supportive. “I know that, Dust. It isn’t fair and..” and here I paused. “I’m not sure there is much we can do.” I was trying to put on a brave face. He was responding with anger. “But Wen, we are partners! My father has NO RIGHT!” he slammed his fist down and broke the small table to my left. I closed my eyes and a single tear rolled down my cheek. He fell to his knees in front of me, kissing the tear from my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Wen.” THIS is why I was trying to maintain control. “Dust, you do NOT need to apologize to me. This is not in your control and I’m sorry that I’m effecting you like this.” Comforting ensued. His arms wrapped around me and mine clenched at him and I let it all go.

Once I had composed myself again, I was reluctant to let go of him. Dustin was safe. He was home and he was love. This was the problem. We had hidden our love for years. The Fenwen bladesingers didn’t fall in love. I held up my arm and we pressed our identical birthmarks together. Mirror images of one another’s in the exact same spot. It was supposed to mean that we were paired for life. Not in marriage, but as a team. Love just clouds things and this is why they weren’t going to let us train as a team anymore.

Dustin sighed and pressed his forehead against mine. “They can tell us not to train, but they can’t really stop us, Wen. We are destined to be a team. You are my world and they cannot stop this.” His accent fell on the last three words. It was true. We were far enough in our training to complete it on our own. We would never actually be Fenwen bladesingers, but did that matter enough to lose my Dustin? No.

Within a few weeks, we were on the road. We had what few possessions we needed and we were on our way. Our steps were light. Our eyes met often and our grins mirrored each other’s. We spent our nights under the stars and in each others arm’s. This was our world and we were all we needed.

We made it for two months before they found us. The best two months of my life.

They took Dustin back in shackles. His father had convinced the council that he was the mastermind behind the whole thing. It helped that my parents were bladesingers in very high standing. They were willing to let me return to the fold after a waiting period, of course.

Dustin was not nearly as lucky. Even with his aunt and my cousin standing up for his honor, his father still managed to get the book thrown at him. Elven trials tend to be drawn out, but Dustin’s lasted almost two years. I am glad they weighed it so heavily. I still don’t agree with the verdict. I never will.

Dustin was banished, never to return to the elven lands of the Fenwen. Never to train or become a bladesinger. And most of all, never to see me again. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

By the time I had arrived home, I had managed to calm myself down and wipe away the tears from my cheeks. All I wanted to do was finish my training and leave. The world had to be better than here. Maybe, just maybe, I could find him.

The first few years out in the world were slightly bearable. My heart was broken and my spirit dim. I took jobs that helped increase my skill, but my heart wasn’t in it.

It was a cold winter night when I entered an Inn in a small human settlement. I moved my cloak from my head and smoothed out my hair as I scanned the room. My eyes met a form and I froze. Right by the fire sat Dustin. His profile was illuminated by the fire and he was staring off into the room. I could tell he was not seeing it.

But a moment past and i rushed to his side. He turned to me and I let out a small gasp. The entire left side of his face was a mass of scars. His beautiful green eye was a hole. The scars moved down his arm and across the edge of his chest. Then it hit me. He only had one eye. A disability that took great skill and determination for a swordsman to overcome. Before me sat a shall of the man my Dustin used to be.

My silent tears matched his own as I covered his face in light kisses. Our arms moved to match our birthmarks, as they always had. People in the Inn saw it to be such a tender, painful moment that all of them looked away.

Dustin would not explain what happened to him. He told me that all that mattered was that I had found him. The rest was in the past anyway. That night was a blur. We were both just so elated to find one another again that nothing else mattered. It wasn’t long until I didn’t even see the scars, just my Dust.

The next few months replaced that time on the road as the best time of my life. We settled down in the small human town. I was content to stay there for the rest of our lives. Dustin began to push me to continue practicing. At first, I was very resistant. I also knew Dustin was not adjusting well to the depth perception loss from his missing eye.

The only arguments we had were over training and destiny. I just wanted to settle down, but in the end, I could not deny Dustin what he wished. I continued my training, with his aid.

The ten years in Rivenvelle went quickly. We were blissfully happy and I was advancing well. Dustin was proud and happy, even though his skill faltered. He took well to just being together. We could of gone on forever and a day just like that. Fate, of course, had other plans.

A war raged through the human lands and soon reached our small town. I tried to insist that Dustin stay behind where he was safe. He would hear none of it. These were his lands too, to protect and fight for.

The army that hit our town was just too much. I managed to take out about one third of their forces before they finally fled. Looking across the sea of bodies that used to be my home, my heart screamed. There was Dustin’s body, impaled to a wall. I ran to him and pulled his cold body down. My world was over.

I spent the next few months causing as much carnage as I possibly could to the army that took my love. I was ruthless in my pursuit of them. It was a big reason that the war actually took a turn.

I buried Dustin in a field of poppies that I planted where our home used to be. Once he was committed to ground, I noticed that my birthmark began to fade. I swore on my blade, then and there, that never again would any elf suffer needlessly when I could control it. This was my fault and I was going to make it as right as I could.

I took Dustin’s last name, Oronar, as a constant memory. I set out into the world to bring honor to him.

California has come to town!

2009-01-20T07:02:00.002-05:00

And yes, we wish he had brought the weather with him, but alas..no. It's still cold. He is here for a whole month (sans 5 days to go and see another close friend) and we are SO grateful to have him home. Yes, I said home. California may LIVE in California but my house is his home.

He brings with him tales. Yes, we should of named California Bard for his tales are always entertaining. The man can spin a yarn extremely well. I never realize how much I miss that ability of his until he shows up on my doorstep once more.

He also brings his own perspective on the boys. It is nice because he doesn't see them for like a year and then he shows up and explains how much progress they have made. Comparing what they did a year ago to what they are doing now..."wow I'm so impressed." then I actually feel like a good Mom and I smile and nod and hug him. Its a good cycle.

We plan LOTS of gaming while he is here. Always a good thing for sure. We played Buffy last night with Smurf and that went well. I had them all stumped with the strange disappearances of third borns. Was a good thing to have that group of brainiacs stumped. Not an easy feat, but one I have become quite good at in the Buffyverse.

Other than that...Captian Huggyface is coming for a visit too. End of semester and he wishes to escape to the Impossible House and spend a few days. Bringing the chikka over on Wednesday as well. Should be a good time as he is always fun to have around.

Oh...and mom has NOT called me. Not even like to say hi, check on the kids. *grins* I'm starting to wonder since I talked to her and SHE was the one who wanted to talk about the "Christmas ordeal" and get things "back to normal". As for me, I am enjoying the silence and peace of not having to deal with her bullshit. Bad? yeah...I'm sure I'll have a spot in Special level of Hell.

*grins* care to join me?

Mothers and Pink Fairy Pajama'a

2009-01-14T21:58:00.005-05:00

so yeah...our family always ends up doing Christmas late. Why, you ask, when YOU are the most organized Christopher Robin on the planet? Because I HATE it. My sister's is mainly delayed due to her. Christmas with the Drama Queen I hate. I'm a horrid daughter. it's her birthday and here I am writing a horrid blog about her. Bully for me.

So, last year, Sis and I decided to do homemade Christmas. We decided to include my mom this year. She started sewing in April. APRIL. You have to understand last year, Sis and I exchanged certificates for favors and cookies and yes, even WoW videos. Sewing to this magnitude was just insane.

So the day comes. We can't avoid it. The Master and I planned it so we could have the least amount of time there. We were picking up the munchkins from them spending a weekend there. We are thinking 20 min, 30 MAX. We arrive and she already has the gifts out and ready. She made us all robes. THIS was the good gift. Robes...big and warm...goodness.

I open the next gift and buried in the tissue paper is something that looks pink. Those of you who know me would know that I AM NOT a pink kind of girl. Hell, Sleepe, who I only know through WoW said the same thing. I scream anti-pink.

I unfold a pair of pink pajama pants that are covered in little cartoon type faeries. I kinda stopped and stared at them, waiting for the "ha ha, isn't that funny" joke gift. But no...not a joke at all. She actually made me pink fairy pajama pants. I said thanks and set them aside.

She starts in on me on if I like them and will I wear them. Those of you that also know me know that I get a monthly allotment of Tact. This, being the end of December, the Tact Bank is empty. I try and be nice and noncommittal and she pushes. I finally say "um...no. I won't wear them." to which she responds, "but no one has to see you." to which, I think I raised my voice here "*I* have to see me!"

I think it got put aside and I choose to open the next gift. It happens to be a purse (and yes, you can scroll down for the picture). This is an extremely ugly purse. I found out later that it was a kit. Someone purposefully put these materials together to intend to make them combined into something someone would actually use. Her comment on it "well its blue...you like blue."

Yeah....riiiiight.

I thanked her for the time spent making it, changed the subject and beat feet. 20 min stay.

week and a half later I do Christmas with my sister. She informs me that my mother may never speak to me again!?! My first thought "Wewt!" My second thought I voiced. it was "why?" She proceeds to explain that she is mad that I don't like her gifts. Because I should love a butt ugly purse and pink pajama pants (which i give to my Sis and she now has a matching pair...).

To make an already long story shorter, she contacts my mom and after some "she said/she said." I'm allowed to call my mom on her birthday (yes, I said allowed) if I really do appreciate the work it took to make it. I grit my teeth and grumble something about not knowing her own damn daughter. I agree to call her. Thinking she will just sweep it under the carpet and let it go.

Silly me!

She launches into "are we going to talk about Christmas?" I inwardly groan and say "yeah, but not today." This phone call I'm not looking forward too. The question I pose to you, dear readers (should there be any left reading at the end of this), is Do I waste tact from the tact bank and just suck it up? or do I speak my mind and stand firm in my appreciation of her presents but that i hate the fact that she never gives me anything that is ME. that I would like?

If you want to leave your comments with my Secretary, she will be happy to file them in order for my perusal hopefully before she calls back.

Rainy days and Monday's always get me....

2009-01-12T07:21:00.003-05:00

Smiling. Yes, I know, its not the song...but they do! Rainy days means I don't have to go outside and play in the back yard with the mud and the dirt and the rocks and the bugs (notice I really don't like playing outside. Good thing I have 2 boys who I love very much and will go outside for).

Mondays...I tell everyone that Mondays are my Fridays, which is kind of true. Monday's means school. Monday's means work. Monday's mean routine. When you are IM (hehe..love the acronym) Monday's means you get some time to yourself or sometime to get things done. Ahhhh Monday's, we love you so.

This is not to say that I don't enjoy the extra time with "The Master" on the weekends. I do. But routine is what I and the terrible twosome thrive on. I do like to vary my routine now and again. Sometimes I eat waffles instead of oatmeal. Sometimes I start vacuuming in the basement instead of upstairs. I'm a woman who lives on the edge.

The edge of sanity. Yeah, thats the only edge I live on. Its a fine line between me and crazy town. I like that line. It makes me happy. Somedays I'm not sure which side I'm on...but its a line and its logical and therefore has a special place in my world.

In other news, California is coming to visit. I AM THRILLED! I think he'll be here for like a whole month! I just can't wait. Means tons of gaming, crazy movie fests, late night talks, lots of skyline and larosa's (there goes the 5 pounds i just lost). it'll be fantastic. He's like the girlfriend that isn't a girl....wait...that didn't come out right. Anyway, he's one of my best friends and I'll love having him here for so long.

lets see...its Monday. Check. CA is coming. Check. Upbeat song of the day....

Check.

Island Living....

2009-01-08T06:57:00.002-05:00

I've decided that I am going to make millions of dollars and buy myself an island. A relatively big island, but nice and excluded. One that I can build lots of spaced out homes on and invite the people that I like to spend the winter with me. We'll have a private helicopter that will take us to "the main land" whenever we need to go. We'll have tons of boats and even a small school for the kids. Build in babysitters for every family on call.

what else can we throw in there. Oh yes, a chef in each home. This should be the way everyone I like should get to spend their winter. Though I would have the problem of people sucking up to me to get a spot on Impossible island. hmmm Gonna have to work on that part of it. Oh, and that millions of dollars part. Anyone got any ideas on that one? *laughs*

In other news (yes, WoW news), our guild has entered into Naxx. I'm once again in all my main tanking splendor and loving it. I really do enjoy tanking. I think everyone has their niche in the game. I feel that is mine. Everyone keeps telling me I'm pretty good at it...so I figure I must be. If I sucked, would I be in high demand every night? I think not.

Also on the WoW front, Mischief has left for California for a kid free weekend with his Wifey. Have a fantastic time Mischief! Be sure to get plenty of sun and warmth and....other things. Come back relaxed and happy. You both deserve it!

Another new person that has come into me through WoW and Mischief is Yny. and no its not pronounced "whinny" its pronounced "Yin-ee". I liked his characters name so much its my blog name for him too. He says he makes short character names because he doesn't like to type. I say its because he doesn't want to come up with long names. Yet, Yny is a nice name. He's been a great addition to the wow team and an awesome new friend. Glad Mischief could bring his best friend into the THG fray. Welcome Yny!

The kids are adjusting back to school...kinda. Took em a few days to get back into the swing of things. Of course, they also swung back up to getting up at 630am again. This is not so good. I'm surviving. Even with raiding till midnight. Coffee...coffee is the key to my existence. and music...lots and lots of music.

Other than that...good times, noodle salad. No one that reads THIS blog. (and yes...if you don't get the reference you drive the fail boat). -50 DKP for you!

5 Questions

2008-12-30T18:55:00.003-05:00

The maven did the 5 questions from a friend of hers and I thought it was a neat idea, so here I am with my five questions from The Maven. I will endeavour to answer each with honesty.

1. What is your favourite thing about being a mom?
I would have to say that not having to miss any of those fantastic moments is my favorite part. Getting to see all the firsts and get all the payment of love, hugs and kisses. Being a part of shaping two beautiful boys into hopefully great men.

2. Complete this thought: "If I ever met George W. Bush in person, I would ask him..."
What kind of drugs his mother did while pregnant. Seriously. Something had to be done while he was in utero for that man to be so fuct in the head!

3. If you could make me into a Starbucks drink, what would I be and why?
You would have to be a soy chai latte. Mainly because they taste fantastic but are low in calories and therefore low in responsibility. Very low maintenance, like your friendship is. The soy and chai are mainly due to you being a health nut ;)

4. If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
This one is very easy to answer. I would make my children NOT be autistic. It is the one thing in my life that I have the most trials with. I would even make my own health worse to improve theirs. They would be even more spectacular little men if they didn't have such huge communication issues. They are already so bright.

5. What are the three most influential movies you've seen, and why?
The first would be Boyz in the Hood. It really was an eye opener for me as a young adult. I mean, I lived in a bad neighborhood, but never had anything like this. It was a great movie and story for any who haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Fantastic movie.
The second one would be Pump up the Volume. Seriously! I saw it in high school and it made me truly embrace my originality and learn to love it and myself for what I stood for.
The last one I would have to say is Garden State. It also was a movie about being true to yourself. Its a lesson I think I've had to learn many times. Plus, that one has a fantastic story line to it.

Here are the rules if you want to participate in 5 Questions.
1. Send me an email saying: ”Interview Me” to sumita69@gmail.com
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You can then answer the questions on your blog.
4. You should also post these rules along with an offer to interview anyone else who emails you wanting to be interviewed.
5. Anyone who asks to be interviewed should be sent 5 questions to answer on their blog. I would be nice if the questions were individualized for each blogger.

Honest Scrap Award

2008-12-29T08:14:00.002-05:00

I'm not one to normally answer being tagged. but Chocolateer and her 10 honest things about yourself intrigued me. I'm not going to tag 7 other people, but feel free to do this as well. I think it's still a free country.

1. I have NO tact. Ok, if we're being totally honest, I have very little tact. I thank my mother for this fact, because I have even more tact than she does. Everyone who knows me likes to say that I have a monthly tact allowance. Once it is gone, it's gone.

2. I like to consider myself original and artistic. I don't always believe that I am, but I like to think of myself that way. I write bad poetry and ok stories and I play the clarinet passably. I can sing, as long as I have a bucket to carry a tune in. So while I may not be fantastic at these things, I definitely like doing them.

3. I'm addicted to World of Warcraft. The game and the people I play with are so much fun. There aren't many nights that I would rather be doing something other than playing the game with these awesome people. And yes, it can be considered Social. Demented and sad, but social.

4. I'm not a girl. Well, I mean, I have girly parts, but I don't act or think like a girl most of the time. Most people classify my sex by my name. "She's not a girl, shes a _____" Insert my name there. I've tried to think like a girl and I just can't follow their brain patterns. It does not compute with my linear train of thought.

5. In spite of #4, I do actually read some romance novels. Not ALL of them, but I read the Twilight series and I read a few of the supernatural romance authors. Yes...they are romantic, but I also get caught up in the characters. I can honestly say I like the action (and no, not THAT action) scenes better than the drippy love stuff. Hence the supernatural romance books.

6. I am Sexist. Honestly, I am! The problem is that I'm sexist against Women. I apply generalities to them and stereotype them constantly. I think we all tend to downplay things we don't understand. Its not like I don't want women to be able to vote, or get paid more than men. I just think they are over emotional and at most times, predictable in the way that they act. Except when they aren't and then they are kind of crazy. See...I told you!

7. I love my boys. (no, thats not the honest part) When they go to school or to grandma's house I am VERY thankful for the break. While I do love them, they also wear me out and sometimes drive me crazy at times. I don't know what I would do if they didn't sleep well at night.

8. Country and Heavy Metal music are the only types of music I actively hate. Everything else I can, at least, normally find some redeeming quality about it. The lyrics, the beat...something. rarely do I find one of those two types appealing in ANY way.

9. I normally scare children when they first meet me. I'm not sure if its the fact that I'm a 6 foot chick or I give off a crazy Oompa-Loompa vibe, but 9 times out of 10 they don't quite like me at first. Even after becoming a mom, this still happens. I actually think its more the Oompa-Loompa vibe. They just have to realize that Oompa-loompa's are actually fun.

10. Hmm...the last Honest thing about me. Well, at least that I'm posting on this blog. I think I'll have to follow in Chocolateer's footsteps and say I play D&D. Actually I play many RPG's. I find them highly entertaining and love the change to use my imagination while interacting with others. Plus, killin' stuff is just plain cool! Ok, not REAL stuff, but imaginary stuff. It all happens in your head, you see?

So there ya have it. 10 Honest things about me. I'm sure to some, this was not even close to being shocking.

Ode to Kia-boo

2008-12-27T12:27:00.003-05:00

R.I.P Kia Marie Wood Aug 18th, 1996 - Dec 26th 2008

She was a good dog. No, she was a great dog. She never asked for much and always behaved when she was asked too. She was tolerant of small children and loved to have her belly rubbed. She was always looking to please someone in some fashion. We didn't deserve her. We loved her very much and I do hope that she is happy in Doggie heaven, which I know she got into because she was such a wonderful dog. It was an honor to have known and loved you and an honor to be there to see you on your way to the next life. May it be a much better one than this one, for you deserve it, Kia-Boo.

One of my Favorite books

2008-12-15T20:07:00.002-05:00

Another excerpt I didn't write...but feel the need to share. This book touched my heart and expanded my mind. Everyone should read it. Everyone's mind needs a bit of opening.

From Illusions… Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah By Richard Bach
(the messiah is leaving and trying to explain it to the many)

And he said unto them, “if a man told God that he wanted most of all to help the suffering world, no matter the price to himself, and God answered and told him what he must do, should the man do as he is told?”

“Of course master!” cried the many “It should be pleasure for him to suffer the tortures of hell itself, should God ask it!”

“No matter what those tortures, nor how difficult the task?”

“Honor to be hanged, glory to be nailed to a tree and burned, it so be that God has asked,” Said they.

“And what would you do,” the master said unto the multitude, “if God spoke directly to your face and said, ‘I command that you be happy in the world, as long as you live’ What would you do then?”

And the multitude was silent, not a voice, not a sound, was heard upon the hillsides, across the valleys where they stood.

And the master said unto the silence, “In the path of our happiness shall we find the learning for which we have chosen this lifetime. So it is that I have learned this day, and choose to leave you now to walk your own path, as you please.”

And he went his way through the crowds and left them and returned to the everyday world of men and machines.

My Frame of Mind

2008-12-08T09:02:00.001-05:00

Riddle-Me-This strikes again. This poem strikes a few chords in me. Thanks again, riddle.

Mending Wall

by Robert Frost

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of outdoor game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors.'
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, 'Good fences make good neighbors.'

Top Ten Girl Rules

2008-12-04T08:21:00.003-05:00

So one day, long ago, Chocolateer and I were talking about these unspeakable girl rules that are out there. We decided to document, though it is against the rules, said rules for the world to see. I found them last night and was thinking that I should share them with the world. I mean, I don't follow a single rule ON this list...which makes me question my own gender. So many of the women I know do though...so without further introduction:

Top Ten Girl Rules

1. Never openly ask for anything. That would be rude and selfish. Instead whine incessantly about your problems until someone volunteers to help you. (if they don't volunteer to help, be pouty and sullen and gossip about them behind their back for being insensitive)

2. Never tell a person if you are angry at him or her. That's WAY too confrontational. Instead tell everyone else that you are angry, because it's important to vent your feelings. Give the person you are angry with the cold shoulder. If they really care about you, they'll be concerned enough to figure out what's wrong.

3. Be totally derisive toward any activity or characteristic that is typically males, but me mortally offended if anyone makes the slightest potentially negative comment about women. These are enlightened times, after all.

4. Don't confuse issues with the facts of the matter. If you feel one way about something, its completely insensitive and inconsiderate of anyone to try and reason you back to reality.

5. You deserve to spend money on new shoes, clothes, make up, craft supplies, hairdos, manicures, purses and any other personal items. You need these things. Be shocked and argumentative when the man in your life buys a new power tool, fishing rod, or computer upgrade. These boys have to grow up and scale down their toys sometime.

6.When you go to someone to garner sympathy about a difficulty you are having, be hurt and offended if they dare suggest a possible solution to your problem. If they are male, cry and then refuse to tell him why you are crying. Do this in spite of the existence of rule number 1.

7. If a girlfriend or female acquaintance gets a new haircut, dress or is about to embark on a new undertaking in her life, smile and be very supportive. Lie if you must. After all, there will be plenty of opportunity to discuss your real thoughts on the matter behind her back.

8. Your a model of modern feminism, self-confidence and woman power. Anyone suggesting otherwise is obviously trying to pull you down. It is only because you are so fulfilled that you are secure enough to constantly ask "Does my hair look ok?" "Does this dress make me look fat?" "Do these shoes match my outfit?" "Well, what are you going to be wearing?"

9. You are a mature woman, able to discuss and resolve major life issues, run a business, and manage teams of people. Therefore, when dealing with men on a personal basis, remember, sex and tears are your main tools of trade and manipulation.

10. DENY every item on this list. VEHEMENTLY deny that you are, in fact, a girlie girl.

so, from now on...I'm not denying I'm a girlie girl. I'll let everyone judge that for themselves. I will, however, never follow a rule ON this list *grins*

Giving Thanks

2008-11-28T13:39:00.003-05:00

Thats what thanksgiving is about...right? giving thanks for everything we have to be thankful for. So in honor of the awesome Chocolateer...here are the top ten reasons I am thankful this year:

10. I'm thankful that money worries are few and not adding to stress.

9. I'm thankful that we will be getting the level 1 waiver soon

8. I'm thankful that, overall, the kids physical health isn't all that bad.

7. I'm thankful I don't have the stomach bug and hope it stays away from my house.

6. I'm thankful that I have such a great game as WoW to play every night and that the people I play with are so damn fun.

5. I'm thankful that my stress isn't as bad as it could be.

4. I'm thankful that my children sleep at night.

3. I'm thankful for all the close friends I have and hope that they stay close...always.

2. I'm thankful for my husband and all his many great qualities.

and last, but not least...

1. I'm thankful for the many ways my children, despite the fact that they cannot speak, have still found to communicate just how much they love me.

Happy thanksgiving to all! (even you crazy Canadians who have it in October)

Long Lost Friends Found

2008-11-25T08:17:00.003-05:00

For those of you who don't have it..I highly recommend joining Facebook . It is a fantastic site to find people. For those who don't want to be found, yeah...stay away from it. The Maven recruited me to her cult there over a year ago. I was skeptical and really didn't need another Mommaville (*shudder*) but I decided to try. And I'm thankful I did.

I found Mischief there. Recently Both Billy's-Sister and The Vampire found me. Just a few days ago, so did Sunshine-Girl. Mischief you all know. Billy's-Sister. We call her that because at one time I was hopelessly head over heals in lust with her older brother Billy. We dated for a time, and he was SUCH the "bad-boy". I got over him, but my friendship with his sister lasted. The Vampire...boy did I have the BIGGEST crush on him in high school. I got over that too, but I call him The Vampire because I always thought he would of made a great one. Should I ever get bitten and give up my immortal soul, I'm finding him to turn him as well. Guess he better watch out *grins*.

last, but certainly NOT least, is Sunshine-girl. Sunshine-girl and I were friends in the fourth grade. We were BEST friends in the fourth grade at Sands Montessori. Sunshine-girls family moved to Florida that summer. I was heart broken. At first, we wrote letters. That lasted until Sunshine-girl talked her parents into flying me down there for a week. My mom helped with half the cost and I got to go see my Best Friend! I was thrilled. We went to Disney world, bush gardens, the beach, the pool....it was great! Sure, I was homesick, but it was a fantastic time. I won't embarrass her by posting the pics I still have of that trip. OK...actually...I won't embarrass myself. She was gorgeous.

So I went home and I think we stayed in contact for a very short while after. Not long though. I think I always regretted that. She was a great friend.

I log into facebook the other day and who do I see adding me as a friend but Sunshine-Girl! I was thrilled. Nice to know we still have some things in common after...jeez...25 years! wow..thats a long time. So hats off to Sunshine-Girl and her wonderful husband and beautiful little girl. I wish her all the luck and look forward to seeing pictures of the new little on in April. Glad to have the sunshine back in my life again!

And, since I've started a trend with Music, here is a song that makes me think of "good times, noodle salad.." (quote from As Good As it Gets)

Me

2008-11-23T19:18:00.001-05:00

So I heard this on the radio the other day and it SO fits me...so here you have it:

Normal

2008-11-21T08:10:00.003-05:00

Ok, so as you can tell, I've been talking a lot to Riddle-Me-This...though I need to stop mentioning him for I fear I am just adding to his extreme Ego. His head will soon be way too big to fit through any normal door. Mischief, though, also attested to the fact that there is no real answer to this question:
WHAT IS NORMAL?

There is no "normal". So in honor of that...and how Wierd I am, I have a few things to share:

The first is a poem. It was written by a really good friend of mine from my Senior year in high school, Tom Ruthman. People said we looked like brother and sister, I could never see it. He was still, a very good friend. And not a half bad poet:

I Was Normal...By TR

The other night
I had a terrible dream
And when I awoke
I woke with a scream
On my lips
Cold sweat pours
Salt water stiinging
The open sores
Which are
My eyes
See terror
My reflection of
The night just past
Went by so fast
What I saw
So horrible
In my dream
I was normal

The second being an Avril Lavigne song. I'm not a huge fan of Avril, but this one SO fits my mood and topic. The video I WANTED to enbed is here, but the enbedding has been disabled...so you can go watch if you like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igVme-Ti8-k )

So there ya have it. Those are my deep thoughts stolen on a Friday morning. Go out there...live...breathe...smile....and be LESS than Normal. Normal is SO overrated!

Overwhelmed

2008-11-18T07:05:00.002-05:00

"You can be overwhelmed...you can be underwhelmed...can you ever just be whelmed?"
-Chastity from 10 Things I Hate About You

For the past few weeks I have just been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with kids, with life, with responsibility. They say, "When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail." (surf instructor in Forgetting Sarah Marshall). Thats pretty much what I felt like doing. Fuck the lemons and get me outa here. None of this lemonaide crap. No pollyanna. Just get me out of here.

But as you can see, I'm still here. I didn't leave...I didn't take off...I'm still here. Things are a bit better now and I can see the lemonaide there on the counter. I still refuse to believe its actually there, but at least I can look at it every now and then.

Yes...my deep thoughts are about lemons and lemonaide. And yes, I'm starting to believe I must be crazy. But...as Riddle-Me-This says, "were all a little crazy". I guess i'm a more "little crazy" than others. Most of my friends would agree.

I'll leave you with my favorite song of the month:

All the OTHER little minions

2008-11-11T20:54:00.007-05:00

Ok, since naming Riddle-Me-This, everyone else is asking for THEIR blog name too. Who knew I was ever so popular? Well, I'm not..just look at the comments and they will tell you that I am the ONLY one reading this Blog.

So theres Riddle-Me-This who you all know about from my other post. The there is the formerly known as Chancey who is now named Mercurial. Shes been around a while and I thought she needed a name change ;)

Then there is Pounce. Pounce lives in Wilmington and plays WoW with me. His OP Druid and I tank ZA. Pounce is named Pounce because that is what he emotes in game when he sees me.

Peaches. Peaches has a great story behind his name. However, I'm not sure Peaches would appreciate me sharing his wife's peaches story. So you'll just have to be curious or ask the Warlock himself in WoW *grins*

The there is Giggles. Giggles is another druid, yet a healer this time. Giggles has a fantastic accent and the most lovable laugh I've ever heard. I want to record this laugh and play it as my IM tone on my phone. It cracks me up every time I hear it.

Sleeps! Can't forget Sleeps!!! Sleeps is also a druid...and a shamen. Eitherway, hes sleeps to me! SO much fun and a fantastic voice. I WUV my sleeps!

Mischief. Who hates that I call him such, because he calls me Trouble. He was mentioned before http://impossible-mom.blogspot.com/2007/09/mischief-and-coffee.html in that post.

Last but not least is the Professor. There are actually two of these, but one will be known as English professor and the other as THE professor. English is great at writing and in fact wrote a guild only quest for us. Its fantastic. THE Professor is one of our raid leaders and his sense of humor never fails to amuse me. We get along fantastically.

So there you have it. Some of the people who stand out to me in that life I call a game. Hmm...strike that and possibly reverse it? *grins* Possibly.

Riddle-Me-This

2008-11-08T14:37:00.002-05:00

Batman! No, actually its not all about the riddler, but I couldn't resist the cool art work ;). It's actually about a new friend and his great new blog name. Yes, I am calling him Riddle-Me-This. No, he's not a huge batman fan...that I know of. The name in itself has a bit of a story, hence the blog post.

Well, you don't expect me to tell a story without starting at the beginning hmm? If so, you should go elsewhere. If you want more long, drawn out stories, but still entertaining, hit up The Maven. *grins*

So "The Master" (yes that is what I call my husband. for those who don't know why, its not because of the reason you think. Its due to the fact that hes a good DM) moved to a different department at work. Now mind you, this was a little while back. for a bit, no comments. Then he started talking about this guy at work. "Riddle-Me-This" said this and "Riddle-Me-This" said that. Then Riddle-Me-This plays WoW and is going to move a character to our server. More WoW players is always a good thing.

No big. He comes on over to the server and hes fun and all. We talk, its cool. More we talk, the more we get along. I start to see what all the fuss is about. I meet the two for lunch one day and this is definitely a guy i can hang with.

Im's start...were chatting up a storm and I start to realize something... He is REALLY good at explaining things. I start asking him for explinations on stuff and he puts it in words that just match my brain! Its like...hes my own encylopedia, written for ME!

Ok, thats not all, we both love talking music too. And we joke and have fun. But he really is good at breaking things down for me. I like it. So thats why I'm calling him "Riddle-Me-This". It fits him. This is his shout out for being so cool. He also does a great podcast for anyone who who would care to listen. http://www.monstercloset.net/

So, Riddle...thanks for working with my husband and for every smile that you give me every day. Your a great guy!

Music for the Soul

2008-11-05T17:20:00.002-05:00

They say that music is good for the soul. Whoever "they" are, I'm starting to think they are right. I decided I want to get back into playing my clarinet. I miss it. I used to adore picking it up everyday and it just kinda got lost in the shuffle of life. what I also used to adore was music theory class. We had some borders coupons and gift certificates. So, while The Master got Wolverine's start in life graphic novel (which I'm sure is very good), I got this.

I remember that small little theory class (it was theory 4 I think) and the 6 of us with our teacher who looked like a 6'2" Albert Einstein. I had SUCH a good time talking and writing and having brad play it all on the piano. It was just...awesome. I miss it, but I also don't remember much of the actual theory. So...hence the refresher book.

lets hope it does my soul some good. My smile could use a polish and a shine these days. So i think that next week, I will break out the ole clarinet and play me some stand by me theme music. Then curl up in a chair and figure out how to write music to all these words in my head. Not that I can sing ANY of it...mind you. I do have a few friends who can belt out some notes...maybe they can help me with that part. You carry the tune, I'll carry mine...in a bucket.

Coffee Talk

2008-10-29T07:12:00.003-04:00

This...is my favorite coffee mug. It was given to me by a guy I call T-Shirt, because of reasons I cannot discuss on a blog. I adore this mug. I often get grumpy when I can't use it for my coffee. It makes me grin every time I see it.Makes me think of Chaz (my halfling D&D character) which is what T-Shirt intended. Makes me think of myself when I was just Impossible and not Impossible-mom. Which is a good thing. lately, I have needed many reminders that I'm not JUST "mom" but am also still Impossible alone too.

Being a stay at home mom is tough. You work long hours for no pay and for people that generally do their best to go against what you want them to do. If done right, its a pretty invisible job. Add in special needs and it becomes an ever-loving stress MACHINE. One often loses them self in the never ending streams of requests and tasks that need to be done. It also doesn't help me that most of my friends that I like to hang out with are guys. That most of those guys are where during the day? At work. Hell, most of the women are at work too.

I'm a social animal. i admit it. I also admit to having an unhealthy view of women. That would come from me having my heart cut out by several. Again, not things I wish to share on an open blog, but lets just say I seem to befriend the bottom 3% of them. Makes one leery to join play groups. Add into the fact that most women don't like me. Its either the fact that their husbands think I'm cool or they are threatened by my confidence. It can't be that I'm so beautiful...so its more than likely one of those two things.

So yes...Being social I spend some of my day on IM. Most of my day chasing children. The coffee cup serves as a reminder back to the days when I would play magic all afternoon. We would stay up till 4am playing D&D. Hit movies and breakfast out on the weekends. Sleep in till noon if I wished. Saturdays were for watching cartoons, not doing laundry. generally living life for yourself instead of others.

Now I wouldn't trade my kids or the husband....I sometimes wish i could rewind a bit and visit those days...if just for a while.

2008-10-22T07:25:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure I could ever top that video or the writings of Jim Butcher, so its down hill from here on.

I just spent the last 5 days having Faerie and her family stay with me because their power was out. It taught me quite a lot. It taught me that I can survive in chaos, that my kids can as well. It taught me that I really love my sister. That I really love her children. That her eldest really needs to land flat on his face to figure out what life is about. That the next eldest girl friend is a big sweetheart. The one after that really CAN follow the rules and that her little girl really is in her own world, and its pretty there. Yeah, it had its trying moments, but all in all, more bearable than I thought possible. Glad to have my house back, but it was a good experience.

In other news, next Tuesday, we fill out the paperwork for the level one waiver. I know, those of you who aren't American and don't have a "special needs" child are now saying "What? do i say hooray?". Yes....cheer, toast and get excited. This waiver gives us a renewable 5k per year, PER KID for respite (thats baby sitting in fancy terms). A big part of it will be used in Summer camp next year, but some will also just be used to get us out of the house. Its renewable for 3 years and then I think you either go back on the list or get to redo the paperwork again. regardless, 3 years seems like heaven now. So that is exciting news.

Huggie Face (the second eldest) is coming on vacation with us the first week of November. He's never been to a resort...so I'm betting he will have a good time. Whats nice is Cuddle Bug (his girl friend) is going to Canada that same week so one won't be stuck home sobbing away for the other. I'm hoping it'll be a good trip overall. I need to take a few days at the end of next week and get all packed up. joy joy ;)

We are back in swimming lessons on Saturday. Going well there so far. Licker was a bit tired last week, but we are trying to nip that 5am wake up in the bud so lets hope hes better next week. Still, they love swimming so much. Will be nice to have indoor pool access on vacation. I ever remembered to request a room on the first floor so Licker wouldn't have to deal with stairs or an elevator. :) Yea me!

So thats basically it for now. Not as exciting as last blog, I know, but I was trying to look at the learning from the pain instead of complaining about the aches.

Get your Kleenex....(And added Jim Butcher on Pain)

2008-10-15T22:55:00.002-04:00

But its beautiful

Also wanted to add this, since it fits the theme. I have been reading the Dresden files, By Jim Butcher. A passage in White Night that really hit home I read last night on pain. I have reproduced it here for you:

"We still hadn’t learned, though, that growing up is about getting hurt. And getting over it. You hurt. You recover. You move on. Odds are pretty good you’re just going to get hurt again. But each time you learn something.

Each point you come out of it a little stronger, and at some point you realize there are more flavors of pain than coffee. There’s the little, empty pain of leaving something behind—graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out on something familiar and safe into the unknown. There’s the big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expectations. There’s the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes that didn’t give you what you thought they would. There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up, The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn. There’s the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.

And if your very, very lucky, there are very few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last—and yet will remain with you for life.

Everyone is down on pain, because they forget something important about it; Pain is for the living. Only the dead don’t feel it.

Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: it teaches you, it tells you your alive. The it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in lifeis going to involve it in one degree or another. "

I think it puts things into perspective. It may be a little "glass is half empty" but its also "glass is half full"

Brought to you by

2008-10-12T22:02:00.003-04:00

They Might Be Giants. They have here come the abc's which my children love and now have come out with here come the 1 2 3's. This has become the Master's new theme song (or so he wishes) and I adore it so.

If you ARE inclined, be sure to find 9 pirate girls too. That one is another fave.

So theres my thoughts for now. So deep they are ;)

Crazy days and nights in Purple Land!

2008-09-30T07:52:00.003-04:00

So the list kind of went out the window with the week long power outage. Wow did that ever suck! I think the kids handled it better than we did. Thank the gods that Fairy had her power and we could go over there. saved a bit of the last of my sanity, I think. Damn hurricane Ike.

I'm attempting to list out projects and triage them now. fun fun. I'm also attempting to find a form of exercise I'm even remotely interested in. Also looking for easy but healthy recipes. Ok...so I like the purple sky in my world. Reality will smash down at some point, I know. but I can dream.

Speaking of dreams...had a very odd one about losing my left hand last night. All in all, very strange. Had to go to Canada to get the prosthetic one because those experimental Canadians had one that would hook up to my nerves and I could move it. Crazy canucks!

In other news, The Master and I are attending A Respite Speed Interviewing Event. Families and respite (thats fancy babysitting terms when you have special needs kids, folks) care providers get 8 min interviews and try find a match. Its 3 hours long and they say you should bring your kids. I kinda laughed at that and quickly called Drama Queen and asked her to watch the kids for a few hours. Lets hope we can find some prospects. having one 15 year old and a grandma we don't want to leave them with for very long as babysitters gets a bit tight.

other than that, not much is going on here. Oh, Licker (formerly Volume) is a little stinker and is talking some at school, but not at home. Though trouble talks some at home but not at school. So I guess they are trying for balance ;)

That sums up life around here. As we await the new patch and expansion and bury my head away from news and politics and pretend the sky is a nice shade of lavender :P

Exercise really does SUCK

2008-09-10T07:46:00.005-04:00

So I started working out. I hate the first week. It always makes me just that muck more tired. I'm sore, tired, not wanting to get up and do it again another day, hating life and feeling lazy. But I steadily push on. I don't over strain myself because I still have to keep up with 2 munchkins who run me ragged. I'm like every bad American who just wants to skip to the good part of it NOW. Like the part of "I have so much energy, I can't even imagine NOT working out." that you hear all those skinny bitches talk about. Ok, I actually hear it from other people too, but it sounds much more satisfying saying it that way.

In other news, Trouble is tracing letters at school. I really want to go in to see how they are getting him to do this. Instead, I'll more than likely just try a myriad (do I get extra points for the use of the word myriad?) of ways at home to see if he wants to write.

Volume is loving school. Loves his teacher. Has fantastic days and she says he works hard. Our first field trip with both classes is September 29th to a play farm near their school. Lets hope it goes well.

So our neighborhood has these really stupid greenery laws. We got notices that our pine tree was over the side walk (which we fixed) and that there was paint flaking from our house. did they bother to even state "on the left side" oh no...that would be FAR too useful. So I proceeded to play phone tag with them. FINALLY got an inspector out here and hes NOT the inspector that did the citation. The new inspector can't find the spot where the paint appears to be flaking anywhere. He does mention that our house could use a good power washing (lemme pull THAT out of my back pocket) and the bushes need trimmed.

You know what I think? I think that this greenery law crap was started by some old bitty that hated the way her neighbor mowed his freakin lawn. You know, the one who dresses up her stone geese on her porch? I think it started there and got out of hand. I mean, jeez! You cite me for something your fellow inspector can't even find. I'm not going to spend the cash to power wash my home on your whim that "that might be it".

Piglets idea was to rip up all the bushes and what not and put in bad lawn ornaments. Flamingos and a whole flock of geese. While funny, not a valid option. I'm sure I'd be cited for having too many lawn ornaments or some such nonsense. She also said I should get a goat, (named ZA, WoW fans) and just let him trim the bushes by eating them. Also, while entertaining, not a valid option. Though this one DOES entertain me:

So...the master asked me to call the inspector who cited us today and play nice. Playing nice when angry is not something I do well. But, hes in a training class and can't call himself. I think hes hoping we'll just get let off with a "well if you took care of the tree" thing...He doesn't know my Karma by now? I'm sure she'll come and tell me to power wash the freakin house too *sigh*

I will channel my chi and do my best to sound like a toned down version of a stepford wife and call the inspector (who happens to be female, that doesn't help my case) and play nice. Lets hope its just the nicked spots at the bottom of the garage door.

Don't these people understand I'm too busy for this crap? ;)

Wish me luck!

Update on "the list"

2008-09-03T07:45:00.003-04:00

So i figured I'd check in and let you guys know how I'm doing on the second week.
1. Exercise at least 15 min 3 times a week. This will start next week..the house is a mess!
2. Clean something at least 2 hours a week. CHECK cleaning the whole house this week
3. Start making healthier dinners since I have time before the kids get home. CHECK bought stuff at the store yesterday for this!
4. Work on something fun (gaming to WoW based) at least one day a week kinda Check...Scheduled Thursday as Wii Day and Friday as WoW day.
5. Take one full 3 hour afternoon to myself every week. Kinda check, see above.
6. Start making goal lists of things to work on teaching, and UNteaching the kids. prioritize these in order of how much they need to be done. Pick one for each kid. Talking to "The Master" about these...we are working on them, but haven't laid it all out yet.
7. Start working on Licker to sit for short periods and eat "real" food at the table. Meal times, not as important as Trouble doesn't follow them, but he at least eats "meals". Plan on starting this next week as well.
8. Be in good contact with their teachers to find more activities for the house. CHECK Daily notes and Emails!
9. spend more time trying to play with the kids. CHECK been setting aside some time each day and trying to really be available when they ask.

So all in all, not bad for the second week of school! *grins*

Amended to add a number ten:
10. Entertain Piglet. THIS is a work in progress and depends a bit on Chance and if she is running the fawn and richard game or if I am. If I end up doing it, Piglet has to run something for Dalatin or someone. Maybe Chaz *grins*

The School is back in town...

2008-08-29T12:24:00.002-04:00

Well, you know what I'm trying to say there. Its back to days of yellow buses and nice crisp uniforms. See through back packs and art for my walls! Yes, they are in Kindergarten this year, from 115-415 every weekday, they are their new teachers responsibility. They are loving it so far.

Everyone survived Vegas and my house was still intact when I got home, so thats good. We had a blast and even won some money! Penny slots rawk! Was a good relaxing time before school started.

So...now that this yellow bus has come back into my life, I thought I needed a bit of a plan for the year. As much as I like to tote schedules, I don't do very well with ridged ones. So I set goals. My goals for this school year are as follows:

1. Exercise at least 15 min 3 times a week.

2. Clean something at least 2 hours a week.

3. Start making healthier dinners since I have time before the kids get home.

4. Work on something fun (gaming to WoW based) at least one day a week

5. Take one full 3 hour afternoon to myself every week.

6. Start making goal lists of things to work on teaching, and UNteaching the kids. prioritize these in order of how much they need to be done. Pick one for each kid.

7. Start working on Licker to sit for short periods and eat "real" food at the table. Meal times, not as important as Trouble doesn't follow them, but he at least eats "meals".

8. Be in good contact with their teachers to find more activities for the house.

9. spend more time trying to play with the kids.

All goals I think that can be accomplished this year. We'll see in a few months how well I'm doing. I'm not even sure I have a bubble to burst....but go ahead and try if you like!

Whatever Happens in Vegas....

2008-08-18T06:51:00.002-04:00

I get to find out about! We are leaving today on our first vacation without the munchkins since they were born! The blessed Faerie is taking Drama Queen's place and watching over them with a few of her kids while we have 4 hour layovers in Atlanta and arrive at midnight something to hit the strip! We are there all of tuesday and Wednesday and then fly back out wednesday evening. Few days away are just what the doctor ordered right before starting the kids in school.

Unfortunatly, this may mean we cannot make it to Iowa this year. It might just be too much work for The Master to miss. I mean, I can't believe it, but he says they actually NEED him there. Yeah, like he does anything but surf the internet...sure.

Actually, he does, but I like to pretend his job is nothing but cake. Makes me feel more justified on those lazy days. Trouble is SO ready for school. I'm sure Licker will like it as well, but he's so laid back he likes ALMOST anything.

So...vegas bound...wish me lots of FUN!

Summer is nearing an end

2008-08-09T08:43:00.002-04:00

Summer is close to it's sunset. At least around here it is. The munchkin's head back to school at the end of this month (or beginning of next if we go visit the 'rents). They are MORE than ready. Trouble has made ample use of his name this summer. Volume should be changed to Licker. His newest habit is licking his hands and wiping them all over his face :(. this is one I have NO idea how to break. Trouble just climbs....on everything. I'm sure that is payback or Karma for me being the same way as a child. Is it too much to hope that both of them are in a phase? Let me have my dream ;).

in 9 days it will be my dog's birthday. She will be 12 years old. here's to hoping she lives to 13. It will also be the day The Master and I are leaving for Vegas for 3 days! Yes, I'm very happy to say Faerie and her children will be here watching the munchkins. I have never been there, so i asked The master if we needed to pre-purchase tickets to anything. his reply was "I hadn't thought much past being away, without kids, for 3 days." all I know is that I won't be going and losing a ton of cash. I'm not much of a gambler. Oh, and the hotel has a pool. Swimming without children is a blissful thing!

We have the possibility of hitting Iowa to see http://www.oldthreshers.com/ Yes, it looks hick, and yes it is hick, but it is also a lot of fun. It'll depend on Master's work on if they let him off or not. We'll find out after vegas if we can swing it. It would delay munchkin school, but they would only miss two days. I know they will be thrilled to go back, but riding a steam powered train and a steam powered merry-go-round, getting to see a real old settlers village and an native American village in action is educational. Not to mention all the turkey legs, tacos in a bag, pancake breakfasts...you know, all that horrid food you get to eat at fairs? Its even better here! So if the fates align, we'll hit that this year, if not...there is always next year. Check it out...its pretty cool!

Swimming lessons went fantastic this summer. I have to call the Y to set some more up for fall. Trouble is swimming over 1/2 the width of the pool on his own and even blew some bubbles. Volume/licker does great with flippers on his feet. May have to get him some. otherwise he seems a bit less aware in the water, but still loves it. The neighborhood pool has been great too. In fact, we are probably going there today.

So all in all, been a good summer. Glad its ending and were back to 3 hours in school 5 days a week this year. Blessed alone time once more!

It is people like this that give freedom of speech a BAD name

2008-07-19T14:37:00.003-04:00

http://mediamatters.org/items/200807170005?f=h_latest

This man makes me ill. Seriously, physically Ill. I cannot stand that fact that people are SO moronic in this world. Never again will I listen to WKRC 55 radio. EVER...unless this man is taken off the air.

What a crock...

EDIT: and he continues to make a fool of himself:

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2008/07/21/lkl.mike.savage.cnn?iref=videosea

It is people like this that give freedom of speech a BAD name

2008-07-19T14:37:00.000-04:00

Autism: 1 Impossible Family: 0

2008-07-14T07:10:00.002-04:00

Yeah, that is the score. We have officially given up on the pottie thing. Trouble doesn't realize when he is peeing. CITE said we can go ahead and BM train him, but yeah...I'm NOT going through all that work to have him still in diapers. It;s just not worth the frustration to all of us. Now, it'll be a different story if he is asking to go pottie. Now? Not so much.

I did, however, have someone send me a pretty cool article on Autism, so i will share it with you. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Autism/Story?id=5349700&page=1
My Father-in-laws response was "Alright! Lets flip those switches!". If only it was so easy, eh?

In good news, they are both doing very well this summer. Trouble is living up to his nickname AND his brothers. He is climbing all over everything in the house and throwing little tantrums (the doctors say this is a good sign....mmmhmmm) and swimming up a storm. yes, I said swimming. The boys is fantastic at it. Put something on him that helps keep his skinny head above water and let him LOOSE! its great for all that extra energy he has. Volume (who I feel bad calling that now) is doing great with eye contact. He is a pretty good swimmer himself as well. I got asked at swim lessons if we had taken them off or put them on medication because they were doing so well.

In other news...there is no real other news. The inlaws are coming for a visit this week. They haven't sen them since January. Trouble will hopefully show off his extended vocab (which now includes things like water "otter" and puzzle). and they can be impressed with his fantastic lung capacity and great climbing skills.....heh

Oh, I guess there is other news. I have a cool new phone! mp3s and pics and unlimited text and web! thats good, right? Looks just like the masters, so we took different background pictures. Mine is of volume, but I think I may try and get trouble causing trouble too. Volume just always looks cute ;) You can see the halo!

Poop goes in the Pottie!

2008-06-23T14:19:00.005-04:00

Ok, can I just say that I am IMMENSELY glad that I'm not potty training in one of these things? I mean, can you imagine taking your sears catalog (yes, they really did use that as toilet paper) and spending 8 hours with your kid in one of these? I don't even want to THINK about it!

So yeah, this is how I look on the bright side. So I have to spend 2 days of 8 hours in the bathroom with trouble and 3 other ladies. So after these 2 days he goes straight into daytime underware and pullups and out of diapers. So I'll be spending a good bit of my days chasing him about and making sure he hits the potty when he needs to...

SO???

Ok, so it's not a perfect world. At least I'm not doing it in one of THOSE....right? Sing it with me folks... "poop in the pottie, poop goes in the pottie!"

Next tuesday and wednesday...hell comes to Impossible Town.

Full Swing

2008-06-18T18:15:00.003-04:00

So summer is now in FULL SWING (get it? hehe) and were busy busy busy. The pottie intensive fell through and got rescheduled for July 1st and 2nd, so wish me luck on that. My dentist is also rescheduled for next week. I think I am a glutton for pain!

So Volume has been an ANGEL. Infact, his name even no longer fits the poor boy. We should call him angel, or mini-geekster or something other than volume, which he lacks. Trouble, is more than making up by living up to his name AND his brothers. I need to place an add in Craigs list to see who would want him, it would look a bit like this:

"Young white male seeks companionship. Must be able to be a like a slave and fetch me everything I desire on a whim. My hobbies include dancing on the counter, diningroom table and windowsills. I also adore to throw anything off of those. I frequently use the kitchen table to throw down pots and pans. I also enjoy a bit of throwing things down the stairs and adore to destroy anything I can get my hands on. If you should like to join me in my mahem, call...."

Yeah...he is easily bored. Yes, I know he is five. Yes, I know he is a BOY. and YES I know he has Autism, but he is driving me INSANE! He can't keep with any activity and anything we want to do with him is just so...not fun. Swinging is one of the things that keeps his attention, so we've been spending a lot of time doing that.

Little volume is a geek and spends a ton of time on his computer. hes just adoreable. On the good note, trouble is doing fantastic with Swimming. He is just awesome. Even his teachers are impressed. So that is good.

Also, our friend....hmm what shall we name him. Crazy Man, for now. he and his loving wife finally had thier baby. Now, I'm going to post that childs first name, just because I was a bit shocked...but it fits the couple, so I'll find a suitable nickname and hope the kid fights as well as the rest of his family. Leonidas is his name..lets hope he lives up to it ;)

thats mainly it for now! Oh, if your bored head to my links and hi Nyhm's Mad Cow and watch his videos...boy has some style!

School, Summer and POTTIES!!!!

2008-06-01T12:28:00.002-04:00

So only 2 more days left. Monday and Tuesday and then thats it. I get fillings on Tuesday (oh joy) and then Wednesday starts the pottie intensive (can't you just HEAR the ominous music?). One boy named trouble, 4 grown women, 8 hours the first day and 6-8 hours the next spent in...you guessed it, a POTTIE! No, this will not be fun, Yes we are hoping it will be rewarding and after that...my blessed reward? I get to stick to a ridged sitting schedule for him! Lets hope the reward in all of this means that maybe...just maybe, by the end of the summer we'll be buying half as many diapers. THAT will make it all worth it. Then lets hope that Volume comes around and wants to learn this new found skill as well ;)

We also move to a new school next year. I am kind of sad that they are going to end up in the special education class. Kinda breaks my heart, but I also know that its not because they aren't smart. Man, they are SO smart! Its more they are socially not quite right. So learning some things...not so easy. Volume can read. Really! They give him a word and theres a pile of pictures on the table and he pics out the picture to match the word. Trouble. Want to talk about a problem solver. Boy gets himself around any obstacle (and were not talking jungle gyms here, folks) and patterns...hes fantastic at memorizing those. So i'm sure (or I will make sure) they are getting the challenges they need there. They get included in normal kindergarten class at least once a week, which is good. They learn so much better from Peers. all in all, while sad, I think its a healthy move. And Troubles gonna LOVE the new play ground! Volume will go nuts with 2 computers in his room and the computer lab just down the hall ;)

So I just have to survive the intensive...then 2 weeks of solo flying for the summer, then its Camp Sunshine. We love camp sunshine! 1.5 hours of toys and songs and snack, 1.5 hours of swimming in the baby pool! What else can you ask for? (its at the YMCA folks and its only 25 bucks a week per kid and runs 2 weeks) So the last 2 weeks of june I get 2.5 hours a day (considering travel) to myself! Then its time to have a nanny 2 days a week to save my sanity. :)

Went to the ASD Fairfield support group. Met with some ladies who filled me in on a few things that I didn't know. So I will be taking some time this summer to research the fact that they may be eligible for "summer school". The school only tells you that they can do that IF they are losing skills. As it turns out, there are like 10 reasons to have your kid get continuing school. One being emerging skills...which is what is likely to get my boys their beloved school in the summer. I think it will thrill them to no end. but I figure we are set for this summer, so I'll do my homework and find out what I can for next summer. Lets hope it works. Would make Trouble SO happy.

so if you don't hear from me until after June, dear reader, (*grin*) you will now know why. Lets hope I don't get pushed over the edge of sanity...or if I do, that in my nice padded room they let me have my laptop! Maybe we'll change the name to "rantings of a once Impossible Mom"

4 Days of School Left

2008-05-27T07:10:00.002-04:00

And not right in a row! We have Tuesday and Wednesday this week with a "graduation" picnic on Thursday. Then they go back Monday and Tuesday (on which I get dental work) and then we are done for the summer. Wednesday and Thursday will be spent with Trouble in the potty...jump starting his potty training. Then its on to a strict seating schedule for a few weeks before Camp. Then I get some mornings of freedom before slammin into summer.

So busy busy busy is the theme of the next few weeks. I have me mentor project with my senior in High school. He wants to learn massage so were spending some time on that. I also have a house to clean soon. Its pretty filthy. Get some laundry done. In between it all Kill gruul and mags and clear Kara a few times ;)

I am glad its getting up on swimming season. Time to get that new laptop and spend some afternoons with the baby pool outside. Also hitting friends pools and what not with the cousins. Should be fun since they adore swimming so much. I'm really hoping they have a better summer...that we all have a better summer than the last one. Huggy Face should be coming to nanny for a while. Then, maybe, Money Man will have shapped up enough to take over some. Hes been into way too much trouble of late. Not showing he is responsible enough to watch the Boys. Lets hope he wakes up soon.

Thats about all...not that it isn't enough. Saber is back around, which is nice. He's come to play on our server. Tanking Prince was easy as pie last night...that was very cool. It's nice to finally feel close to the top of my game! Just in time to start over with Wrath of the Litch King!!! We'll all dive into that with the Nyhm music blaring. Mallaysia will have to respec! Oh No! Lets hope we can get Maven to 70 before then....We just gotta get her online!

Pet Peeve

2008-05-14T07:21:00.003-04:00

One of my pet peeves is parents who really don't parent. I don't mean the every day things or even the little things. I mean...well, it'll be easier to cite my latest example.

We went on a preschool field trip yesterday to a working farm where the kids get to help do chores and play with little animals and what not. Milk a goat, you know, that kind of thing. We stuck with Volume's class because I like his teacher better and both boys have been in her class before. We'll call her Boot Camp (not because she's strict but because she gets the job done). So there is a little boy in Boot Camp's class who has his mother along on the trip as well (most parents of special needs kids had to come along). Now I have 2 special needs kids myself and this little boy was very high maintenance. But what his mother would do reminded me of the British police "Stop, or I'll say stop again" technique. It was SO bad that at one point, Boot Camp took over disciplining him...in his moms lap. She would not chase after him, he broke a chicken egg, she would just look on as he got into trouble with that "What am I supposed to do" type look. Now I understand out of control kids. I understand it takes a lot of energy to chase said kids. I also understand that it is a parent's responsibility to handle it. It just made me mad that with all the other kids that Boot Camp had to deal with, this mother who was there FOR HER KID was expecting her to take care of him as well.

On another note, another child in Volume's class who I believe is on the spectrum was acting a lot like Volume did our first trip there and her mother was handling it quite well I thought. Even when she FREAKED at the rabbit, the girl did not get away or cause even that much of a disturbance. She screamed and cried, but from the safety of her mothers arms where she should be.

Maybe its just me, but if I'm out with my children, knowing they are special needs puts me on edge more to watch them and be within arms reach should they do something inappropriate (like breaking an egg at a farm) to try and stop that. I believe Maven would agree with me, having had intrepid as a child and all that went with that. If the kid at the farm had run off once or twice and she just didn't catch him in time, it would be one thing....but the kid kept running off and she would just SIT THERE. I'm not one to like to judge but it did make me angry.

So thats my vent for today. I do, however, smile at the thought that mine are not teenagers...yet. (after spending time talking to Faerie last night on the issues at her house and offering her a haven to get away tonight should said issues still be going on) I also thank God that I have a supportive husband and that we both agree on parenting. And we thank Captain Huggy-face, my middle nephew, for his wondrous help at the farm yesterday too. Without him, I think we might of been in a bit of trouble. Then maybe someone else would be blogging about my kids ;)

Pack Your Bags

2008-05-09T08:21:00.002-04:00

We're goin' on a guilt trip!

Every ones family or circle of friends has at least one. My family, its usually Drama Queen, the mom. You do something and for weeks..nay MONTHS they just keep bringing it up. Over and over and over until you just want to lie down in front of a train and beg God for it to run you over just so you don't have to apologize one more time for spilling kool-aid on aunt suzie's couch!

Yes, that is how you feel, not what you do. What you do is nod and smile and say "I know, and I'm so sorry" thinking "please....please...kick me in the spleen again. I didn't feel it that time!" It makes life difficult when people just don't let things drop. When, at the time, you may have felt right but by the time all is said and done you feel you should of never said one word or done one thing because it would have been easier for you.

That IS what life is about. Oh, people say they are selfless and self sacrificing...but in the end, who do you have to live with on a 24/7 basis BUT yourself. So while I can put my wants and needs aside for others, We only do so when it is rewarding or truly needed. In the end, we look at what we can get out of it or how we feel. So I freely admit to being selfish! How liberating! I admitted it freely to the 4 people who read this blog and I feel so much better now!

Christopher Robin be damned!

Revoked License to Walk

2008-04-21T09:09:00.002-04:00

So, the Master has decided to revoke my license to walk. Yesterday, after taking a shower, I went into the basement to switch the laundry. I discovered there was water all over the floor and was trying to trace the source when I steped on one of those puzzle like mats and whoosh...down I went. My left ankle bent AND I landed on it.

My first thought was "Crap, I don't have my cell phone in my pocket." Because The Master was not home. My second thought was "I wonder if I can make it up the stairs." So, I sat there for a moment, waiting for my toes not to look like some strange cadaver study gone wrong and the sharp pain to calm down. I went up the basement stairs on my butt and got to a phone.

Spent the evening in the ER so they could tell me it wasn't broke. They stuck a air splint on and gave me drugs and sent me home. Farie and Money are over helping today. We are trying to keep Drama Queen from coming to drive me insane.

so thats my life at the moment. Crutches and drugs....so can this be considered a break? *laughs*

Maintenance Day

2008-04-15T06:27:00.004-04:00

For those of you that don't play WoW, you have no idea what this means. For those of you that do, it either means an agonizing day of not getting to play...or its time to get the errands done. For me, it almost always means Grocery Shopping day.

"But...You have 5 year old Autistic twins...YOU don't get to play WoW" I smile and say "Preschool...folks!" Too bad that the server is on California time and so it doesn't come back up until 2pm. SO...off I head to the grocery store once munchkin one and two are at school.

TODAY, infact, I get to leave earlier. Drama Queen is supposidly coming over to watch them and then get them on the bus. So I'm off to get a latte in my hand, a new haircut and then find some PJ's with zippers that I can butcher for the summer. "Why?" you ask....again, I smile and say "You really DON'T want to know"

So todays Maintenance Day will hopefully be a blissfull one, even though it began before 5 with trouble waking up (and its normally been volume doing that lately) and The Master and I turning off the monitor and opening our door...then hearing the "bam bam bam" of thier door a little before 6. Not even that can stop me from being happy today. It also helps that after The Master gets home, I get to turn around and walk back out the door and head to Chancy's (yes we need a better name) house and give her her long awaited massage. Lets hope it helps!

So today....is my day, for the most part. The afternoon, I'm sure, belongs to the kids and thier swingset. It HAS been cold and rainy, you know. Time to get back out in the backyard!

Intensives are intense

2008-04-10T16:50:00.002-04:00

Over the Rhine - The Poopsmith Song

So that song sums up my week this week. Mainly, thats all I wanted to say. 2 potty intensives at 3 hours a piece and my brain is fried...

Poop in the potty...poop goes in the potty

They are Five....can you believe it?

2008-04-06T18:41:00.006-04:00

So they had a birthday. We didn't do much at home, but school made a big deal, so that's good. The first picture is trouble (sporting his new haircut) and his assistant teacher who says she is stealing him at the end of the year. Quite an appropriate shirt for him (this is what trouble looks like). He was not pressed about his cookie. I think he would of rather of been home on the swing set.

This is Volume with and without his birthday crown. You may notice something that you may never see again.... He is eating a grilled cheese sandwich! This has never been seen before..or since, I'm sad to say. I keep trying though!

All in all, I think they have as good a birthday as little 5 year old autistic (sorry, children with autism) boys can have. :)

Just A Swangin'

2008-03-30T12:42:00.005-04:00

Yes we finally have a swingset. Yes, it is a hand-me-down and NO no one really cares. So thanks to The master's old work buddy and his wife and children for passing us our newest addition to the back yard right before the munchkin's turn 5.

We took them out to see it this morning and here were some of the reactions:

(Touble is in red and Volume in the tan)

All in all, a fantastic gift with an even better price tag. Thanks all!

STEEL the show...

2008-03-19T17:52:00.003-04:00

So I actually got from The Master's lips tonight "Wow, you really are the man in our relationship!". Would we like to know why? Someone (yes me) actually FORGOT that it is our 11 year anniversary today. A forgivable offense to some, not to most...luckily to him. EVEN THOUGH its not just our 11th wedding anniversary but 14 years since we started dating.

We go by the traditional gifts and this year it was steel. He came home and I came upstairs in a tiff and was almost demanding a break from the hellions since they didn't get to school today. Today, the day I planned on taking my break this week and their school is flooded. They may not get school tomorrow either and then be off for a week for spring break. but, I digress. I go into the bedroom to find a card and a steel teapot on the bed. You would think THIS would clue me in, but NO. I open the card, wondering what in the heck this was for...see the anniversary card and wow...I felt like a total schmuck.

At this point, I head downstairs to apologize and see if he wants me to run out and make some elaborate dinner. Realizing now why he asked if I wanted him to pick something up. Feeling like a total idiot and I burst into tears and an apology and get the "you really ARE the guy!" as he laughs. 11/14 years and I finally proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

So yeah...I come up to take the break anyway, at his insistence. No, I don't rush to the store, but i do hop online and search for a gift I can grab tomorrow after the dentist. Yes, I found one and yes I still feel guilty. At least my mom, AKA Drama Queen, is taking them Saturday night so I can make it up to him. (OK, shes taking them for Easter, but I can use it to make it up to him) If anyone has any grand ideas, be sure to shoot me an email! (yes, he reads my blog...I'M THE GUY, remember?!?)

Oh Mischief.....

2008-03-17T18:36:00.002-04:00

How we love you. Can you believe he actually had the NERVE to question his nickname today? To actually tell me he was a saint. I about died laughing...and of course, sensed the sarcasm. The boy really is entertaining. My life would be less without him. Less what, we are not sure ;).

IEP day was today. Looking pretty positive on that front. I brought it home to fine took comb it and make sure its all set, but I like the new teacher. I mentioned the whole nut allergy we have going on and that some schools have and allergy lunch table. all the nut allergy kids eat there. She mentioned that no one had suggested that and that she had a big mouth and would do so. I liked her instantly, for those that know me know that my mouth is no where near small. Big mouthed teacher is a good thing :)

Oh, I also had another old friend found. One from high school that we had an on and off again friendship. I have been trying all day to think of a good nickname for her, even going so far as to think I should call her "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" but thats so done ;). I think, since she works in a lab now, I shall just call her Labfox. Mainly because labrat sounded too mean.

So welcome back into my life Labfox. May your stay be long and pleasant ;)

Move over Godzilla....

2008-03-14T08:38:00.002-04:00

Here comes Trouble!

Destruction should be his middle name. Puzzles hit the floor with lightning speed and crashing sound. Books...not enough to throw those off the couch, the stairs are best for those. book and electronics make the best noise going down the stairs. Who cares that its the only working Vtech in the house?!? Its trash now! MY TRASH! Books have a tear, then its time to make about 40 more of those. Cards, I'm done with them, lets play 26 pickup! I think I can hit the windowsill with them from this couch. Its kinda fun when mom makes me pick up those six puzzles, so lets do it again and AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!!!!!!

So yeah...between that and Charlie resisting the whole "make a sentence" phase of pecs that we have been on for a month now (at least) I'm losing every ounce of patience I think I ever had. I yell, I scream, We have timeouts in my lap where nothing is fun, I run away, I cry...nothing seems to help. I want an emotion chip like Data so i can take it out about now. I ask Cite for help and they give some good advice but everything (and I mean everything) always leads to more work for me. So pardon me if I need that white jacket and those nice padded walls for a while. I didn't think I had enough to do...I need a nice rest. Scribbling with crayons and drooling sounds like FUN! *sings* They are coming to take me away hehe hoho haha!

Don't I wish ;). Its that old "I wish I'd break my leg so I could get some rest"...but no, I don't wish that. I'd be taking care of twins on crutches. Sad but true. And the phase they are going through...not a good one. Welcome to 5 years old. The odd years, folks, how we love em so.

At least I still have my sense of humor.....even if my sanity is NOT intact ;)

So I am TOTALLY back!

2008-03-11T11:05:00.002-04:00

I found this great application that allows me to link my blog to my facebook, so this will make life SO much easier. People on facebook can read my blog should they want too and people outside of facebook can find out about my "oh-so-interesting" life. (yes that was MAJOR sarcasm there) My major accomplishment of this week was getting my second character in World of warcraft to level 70. yes, I'm that much of a geek.

The kids...trouble is SO living up to his nickname. Volume, not so much. I'm thinking I need a new one for him. Bear seems to work, since hes so darn cuddly. Or something to do with computers since he is so savvy on them. He is spelling now, that volume bear. 3-4 letter words, his first and last name. He also figured out the mouse and is now all over web sites like playhouse Disney and sesame street. Trouble has learned what loud noises are fun when you throw things down the stairs. I love them both, but he can be SO trying sometimes.

We are going to start the potty training journey, so help me God. I have a feeling this is something we will be working on for a very long time and that will require me to dig deep for the patience I seem to really lack lately. On an up note, they are going to kindergarten next year. It will be in a special class, but they get to go into the normal class with an aide sometimes (is what I'm lead to believe). I need to schedule a tour of the class and make sure they will get challenged and its not just "put them in a corner and let them stim for four hours." My boys are smart. Trouble can match all his colors and shapes (and not just triangle to triangle, its like blue triangle to pizza slice) and he can pick out which is the right animal when his teacher holds up 2 beanie babies at a time. they both know all their letters and numbers and Bear can spell and I think read some. He might even know some Spanish. (living books and sesame street) So I want them challenged. I want them taught (because they learn better from people OTHER than me). so a tour is in order before their IEP in April. If I don't like what I see...its time to push or try alternative schools. I really hope I like what I see.

Me? I'm trying to keep my sanity. I distract myself when I feel it slipping. I love my kids, but I think my job is even a bit harder some days than the parents of "normal" kids. Thank God again for my memory and organizational skills.

Thats all for now. Gonna go see if my sister, Faerie, is able to go out for her birthday lunch today. If not, I have plenty of errands and an only 1/2 clean house ;)

Peace out!

Why I'm not blogging

2007-11-19T11:15:00.000-05:00

Well, for one, Trouble is living up to his full potential of his name. Not only has he found new and interesting ways to do so, he also keeps me hoppin all the time to make sure he's not going to hurt himself or anyone else.

The other reason I don't blog is that all of my really close friends (other than Chancy) are on Facebook. Its much shorter and easier way of keeping people up to date than a blog. A blog feels more like a journal you want people to read. Eh...not that exciting to me. I like wall messages and eggs that hatch into snakes instead.

Lastly is time. Free time is at a near summer time low of late. (I use summer because there is no school). We've gotten rid of naps and theres so much to do when they are at school....I have games to plan, house to clean, errands to run, Books to read, levels to get in WoW ;) and it really seems as though everyone who wants to know whats going on with me either calls me or joined facebook...so, no real need for a blog. Only one out there probably still reading it is Bear. And I can call him whenever I like. (almost whenever...though he won't answer when in hibernation anyway)

So...just an FYI for anyone who cares to find me..I'm on facebook. Post a comment with an email if you want a link...otherwise, pick up the phone or even *gasp* send an email or IM. I'm not hard to find ;)

Four computers and one vacation later....

2007-10-25T08:52:00.000-04:00

So yeah, I had a bit of a computer issue in my house. 3 of the computers we use went belly up. 2 are possibly fixable, but not with a lot of TLC and we fixed the last one and gave it to Trouble and Volume. So, for a while, I was out of a computer downstairs (which is where I USED to blog). Then...Teddy Bear gave me his wife's old computer and its a laptop...so I'm back. I'm sure I've lost all 4 of my faithful readers, but I can deal. I am going to post some pics from Vacation to Gaitlinburg, but I figured I would give an update first.

Actually, come to think of it, not much going on here. Maybe its a good thing I haven't blogged in a while *laughs*. We had a visit from the man I like to call Lazarus. not just because its one of his characters, but also because every time life knocks him down, he gets back up. It was nice to see him and spend some time with him. Hes one of my bestest friends. (I can say that without him going psycho because hes a guy!) Thats really all there is to note. The kids are doing great in school.

So without further ado...here is Vacation Pics:
The whole family at the creek

Trouble loved the balcony

So did Volume

I WISH they were actually dancing. more deciding who was going in and who was going out.

Trouble and his uncles!

Just the Uncles

The creek...the park was beautiful

Can you blame the kids for loving the balcony when this is the view?

And because, yes, we are geeks

So that was our vacation in a nutshell. Well, thats a big nut, but you know.

Mischief and Coffee

2007-09-12T08:08:00.000-04:00

So Mischief and I went out for coffee last night. I had an absolute blast! We talked about old times, new...caught one another up on the readers digest version of the past 18 years. It was good times. Panara had to kick us out and we proceeded (on that oh so beautifully weathered night) to stand by our cars for another hour chatting. He's still the same guy I went to high school with, just more mature. We still meshed like we did then. Always cool to have a friend come back into your life and realize your still friends. It was good...very good.

In other news, Trouble and Volume have started school. Trouble is seeming to do very well in his class (though he hangs on his aide, I am told...which is cute) but Volume, as usual, is needing a bit of an adjustment period. They even had to calm him on the bus yesterday. Both boys are wiped without afternoon quiet time and went down early for Dad last night. Volume has even napped on the couch one day. Good to see they are playing hard. I bet in a few weeks, Volume will be set in routine. Just in time for us to screw it all up with vacation! LOL

Vacation? (you ask) Yes...Vacation. We're off to scenic Gatlinburg with Uncle Phone and Uncle Chill. They are from California and are flying in to do vacation with us. We are ecstatic. We miss them, they miss us and the boys. Should be a good time. Plus, its the first one we have gotten to take in almost 2 years. Good times....noodle salad! (to quote a fantastic movie. If anyone can tell me that movie, you warrant me sending you a song!)

Speaking of Warrant, he's doing well also, even if we aren't playing together as much this first week. I'm sure we'll catch up soon. Get our team to level 70 in no time! *coughyeahrightcough*

Well, I'm out. Cite is coming this morning and I should do something about the state of my floors...ewwwww

Current Song: Who Knew by Pink
Current mood: Chill

Hooray for...

2007-09-04T15:16:00.000-04:00

1. School!!!! It starts in less than a week. They explained their reasoning for wanting to put them in afternoon school and I found it sound. They also agreed to a third year if need be. We start in afternoons on Monday. And that should give me more play time with Warrant! that works for me!

2. Meds! The meds are finally starting to work and I can see the brighter side of life. so they get a mention here too.

3. Facebook! For it brought Mischief back into my life. Who is Mischief, you ask? Why he is a guy I knew in early high school years who transfered schools suddenly. I never knew what happened to him, and now I do. We're getting along as famously as we did then!

4. Maven! Who spends way too much of her precious time on the phone with me. She is a terrific friend!

and last,
5. WoW! The Kara raids have been rawkin and we are all starting to jive together better. The alt nights (and afternoons with Warrant) are sweet as well. Its just an all around good social game! (with Phat Loots!)

So thats all from me...Horray for me...Horray for you...Horray for Winnie the Pooh!

Issues

2007-08-26T08:36:00.000-04:00

Why is it that nothing can ever be easy? I'm trying to find an advocate now because they are saying that my boys DON'T Get the option for 3 years of preschool (which I have been told is NOT true) and they have to now move not only to afternoon school but to different teachers as well. Trouble will be crushed, his teacher is his world! And Volume will not like switching classes, he was finally getting used to his. I KNOW they will have transitions throughout life, but can't we make their first 2 years of school a little easier? *sigh*

So thats my rant. There is nothing that is ever easy. The Master and I have a call into the principal who is trying to get the teachers to set up a meeting between all of us. Lets hope I can get the advocate in time.

Glimpse

2007-08-23T09:23:00.000-04:00

Reposting

2007-08-17T14:31:00.000-04:00

Other people's stories is fun. This one always makes me smile:

'All he needed was a Rock.'

by Kori De-Ann

A bard once asked me the meaning of life. I stared at him a moment, gave my chin a rub and then walked over to a rock. “The meaning of life,” I said, “is no real mystery. This rock knows it,” I said. And then it was his turn to stare at me, confused.

“A rock is not real,” he argued. What a smart one he was. I laughed and sat down beside the rock and the bard puzzled even more. “What’s the difference,” I asked him, “between me and the rock?”

“You’re alive.” Ahh, his wicked intelligence again. “And the rock is not.”
“How do you define alive?” I questioned, giving him a smile.

“You can move.” He answered. I picked up the rock and threw it across the road. “So can the rock,” I answered.

“You can think.”

“How do you know the rock cannot think?”

“Because it’s not alive.”

“So what makes it dead?”

“It’s not dead either.”

“So the rocks not dead and it’s not alive?”

“Right.” he confirmed with a nod of his head. “Then what is it?” I asked him. “What is on this earth that is neither living nor dead?” He puzzled a moment and then shrugged. “It is matter,” he answered at last, “it takes up space and causes problems.”

“Rocks cause problems?” I then asked. “Rocks cause problems.” he agreed. “What kind of problems?”

“It hurts when you step on them,” he told me, “and they make bumps in the road.”
“But rocks are used in tools and things like that, too, right?”

He took another moment and then gave a reluctant nod. “I suppose,” he said. “So rocks cause problems, but they’re also needed—right?” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t
say they’re needed. We only use rocks until we can think of a better option.”

“So rocks cause problems, and they’re needed until you can figure out what is better than a rock?” He nodded. “So what do you think life is?”

The bard walked off, confused. I guess he doesn’t know how smart he really is. He figured out life and all he needed was a rock.

Three and a Half Weeks of Summer Left

2007-08-15T10:14:00.000-04:00

(this was Master holding Trouble and me with Volume at the autism children's museum night)

And can you see I'm glad? The kids are so ready to go back to school and I am so ready for that to happen. It has been a long and trying summer and my shout out today goes to Mr. Pink.

"Mr. Pink?" You say....Yes...Mr. Pink. He is my 14 year old nephew who I hired as a nanny this summer 2 days a week. Without Mr. Pink, I'm not sure I could of made it through the Volume Tummy Trials or the Trouble Destructo Phase. This summer has been blessed by them adoring having Mr. Pink here every Tuesday and Friday. He is a Godsend and I am thankful for him.

I'm also thankful for old friends finding their way back home. Its good to hear (or see) a friendly person's words. Nice to know I'm loved and supported, even if from afar. So thanks.

Also thanks to DramaQueen who is taking my children again for a weekend the weekend after this one. A much needed break for the Master who has been working non-stop, which also means I need one for then I have been working non-stop. We both are in need of some down time. And we haven't made any plans and this, I am happy about. I want some serious chill time!

Ok, back to the grind. Heard a crash and must investigate before I shower. I'll update of boy progress later...but they are each saying about 4 words, total (no, not together). So we're holding onto the shred of hope that they will one day speak.

Parent's Speak

2007-07-20T09:34:00.000-04:00

I just got through reading "Right from the start" which is a book on ABA stuff for Autistic kids. At the end of every chapter, there is a section entitled "Parent's Speak". Some of them were the typical "rah-rah" type things, but this one, the first one at the end of the second to last chapter REALLY spoke to me:

I, too, hope to some day dance with either or both of my son's at their weddings. I, too, have had a hole ripped into my heart from this, from watching them struggle everyday. I, too, love them just the way they are, but hurt for them in the trials they have ahead. I, too, hope to one day know what is going on in their smart little minds.

That's my excerpt for today. Be glad you got one at all, and be glad someone Else's words were my inspiration. I have not found many of my own of late.

It's a love/hate kinda job

2007-06-21T09:17:00.000-04:00

Motherhood, that is. I've decided to list out something I hate and then something I love about it. Let's see if it balances out, shall we?

HATE 1 I hate it that if no one else can/will do it, it falls back to me. If everyones too beat, too tired or too sick, its left to mom to suck it up and deal with it.

LOVE 1 I love that I am the one raising my kids and that I feel like whatever turns out, at least I was here for them when they were small. I think its so important

HATE 2 I hate always being interrupted all day and hardly getting a moments peace.

LOVE 2 I love the fact that I get paid in hugs and kisses and love and cuddles. Its the best currency ever.

HATE 3 I hate dirty diapers. Changing diapers and wiping noses and all that bodily fluid stuff. Oh, don't forget the partly chewed food spat into your hand.

LOVE 3 I love that I'm the first person they turn too all the time. That i'm their "favorite" if you will.

HATE 4 Ok, sometimes I hate being the first person they turn too, especially when I'm just trying to relax.

LOVE 4 I love not missing a moment of all the milestones they hit and all the accomplishments they achieve. I'm there for almost every one.

HATE 5 I hate it that I never get a sick day. Yeah, I get time when they are in school...but when I'm sick, I can never BE sick.

LOVE 5 I love that I'm the first person they see in the morning and the last they see at night. I love that I get them on and off the bus (and relish the school time break) and they just grin when they see me.

Ok, so its tied, for now. I do love my kids, I just sometimes wish that Mommy's got vacations from their jobs like the rest of the world!

Suddenly

2007-06-11T08:29:00.000-04:00

Its the best word I can come up with to describe my life currently. Suddenly things happen, never gradual (at least not that I notice) and usually good or bad, yet unexpected. Like last night. The Master is packing for yet another trip out of town for the week and I go into the computer room to check my email. I sit in my chair and turn on my computer, leaning a little to the right to grab my pen and SUDDENLY *crack* I'm on the floor. The chair, that was getting a bit sad, has finally given up the ghost. Hopefully grandma DramaQueen and Grandpa Chef are coming today so I can purchase a new one.

SUDDENLY , I'm alone for the week and the only help I have is DramaQueen. SUDDENLY , The boys have started flying on the PECS system (its a great way to get chocolate and Doritos. I have to call CITE ladies today and find out if removing cards from the binder is a bad thing). SUDDENLY we are the only ones in the Fun with Food class. SUDDENLY we have a possible Nanny who may start Friday (every Friday 8 hours and one week night every other week for the summer). She will yet be named for I am not calling her tinsel mouth, despite the braces. If you can't find babysitters, pay them I guess. SUDDENLY Chancy (who I need to rename as well) and I are playing an online game together, 2 in fact since she plays WoW! SUDDENLY Other people seem to be falling from my life without much word. I'm sad, but accepting that. SUDDENLY Other people are popping back up to say they, at least, are still there. SUDDENLY my children love the backyard.

Little happenings. Maybe its because I'm depressed so I don't notice the lead up, but SUDDENLY seems to have a permanent spot in my life at the moment.

Current Mood: Don't ask
Current Song: SUDDENLY I see by Kate Tunstel

Depression

2007-06-05T08:35:00.000-04:00

I have come to the unhappy realization that I am...depressed. I can't deny it anymore. I can't say "this is just one day I'm down" because it's every day. As soon as our insurance is switched, I will go see a doctor, but until then, every day seems a struggle. Every day, just to get out of bed, is work. To shower, to move and help my children when they ask for it...an almost overwhelming task. A normally "glass is half full" girl, finds her glass empty and I am at a loss.

Putting on a "happy" face for friends takes more energy than I can seem to find...so I'm putting it out there. If I'm down, sad, seem "off"....no, its not you. No, nothing is wrong with our friendship, everything, instead, is "off" in my life. Don't take it personal and no, nothing you can say can "cheer me up" so don't bother. I'm sure some random doctor I eventually find can help me. Anyone know any good ones? *sad laugh*

Summer Summer Summer

2007-05-31T09:21:00.000-04:00

Looks like E is for Energy (now known as Little Guy) will be arriving this weekend to the Piglet household. I'm very excited for them. I'm also very excited to have another 4 year old around. Maybe my boys will play with him...maybe. ;)

It is summer here. We have our End of school picnic today and I'm sure it will be very sad. Once they realize no more school (probably sometime next week) they shall be heart broken. Trouble loves school more than anything and even Volume has been adoring it this year. Mommy will miss the time to herself I'm sure.

I'll hopefully be hiring a few of my nephews to come and help me this summer. babysitting and getting them out of the house. It may help save my sanity if I can keep them from fighting. ;) it's no small task! at 14 and 12, its a chore. Should be more help than hindrance though. Or I'll take them separately if they are.

We're planning a vacation for October or September. We plan on meeting The Master's brother CellPhone and his partner, Espresso, in Gatlinburg. Spend a week hanging out with them and taking turns taking care of the munchkins. Should be a nice vacation. We miss them! I hope it works out.

Well, I'm going to go get ready for the picnic. Tomorrow we have errands, Registration for "Fun With Food" and OT (YES! Back to OT). Busy busy busy!

Oh happy summer!

Spring has Sprung

2007-05-16T14:38:00.000-04:00

and life is hectic. It's almost summer and summer means therapy around here. My little computer time has been devoted to Mickey mouse playhouse and to WoW, depending on the kids state of awakeness. Swimming lessons, Camp, Food class, Speech and OT...as well as CITE. Were busy busy busy.

On mothers day we discovered a fantastic thing! The put in a Starbucks with a drive through up the street from me! Its like a 8 min drive! The Master made me promise not to break the bank. I told him he had to worry more in the winter. *grins* I'm happy.

Shout out to Piglet (yes, you still have your name) for blogging all about me ;) and also for the count down to D-Day of the arrival of E is for Energy! Should be a fantastic and changing summer for your family. Good luck!

I won't be blogging as much as I was or as I should. Volume and Trouble are starting PECS and Volume's favorite thing to do when seeing mom on the computer is to request to play Elmo. *sigh*

Current mood: eh, so so
Current Song: American Music by the Violent Femmes

After reading my friends blogs...

2007-04-30T08:22:00.000-04:00

my life seems calm in comparison. Things have been hectic and stressful, alright. But I don't have the whirlwind of activity that Kraft Dinner (aka Maven) and Piglet (aka Chocolateer) have going on at the moment. Not to say my life isn't busy, that it is. Trouble, especially, earned his nickname this weekend. In hindsight, The Master and I realized that since HE wasn't sick this weekend, we should of taken him out somewhere. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Volume spent the weekend with tummy trouble and is home from school today with it still. Master and I spent most of the weekend chasing them and playing WoW. Yes, were losers and like it that way. We've come to terms with the fact and accept it. In fact, embrace it.... So NYAH!

Got the kids signed up for Camp sunshine in June. They have their Fun with Food class as well. Hopefully, they can get back into therapy next week or the week after.

School ends at the end of May and thats when the real chaos begins. Kind focusing on trying to prepare for that. Knowing that Elfikins is going to school and Piglet is getting energy and Plant-Man has 3 kids of his own... I'm left with the realization that I have to rely on DramaQueen and DramaPrincess. This realization isn't a good one. So what I really have to rely on is myself. I'm gonna have to learn to get them out of the house on my own more. Its hard when they walk at different paces and like to go in different directions and are getting too big for their stroller. I see lots of grocery trips in our future. How sad is that?

So thats my life at the moment. Not very uplifting, but its mine and I think I'll keep it. Though you can come by for a trade when Trouble is at his finest. Just beware, I may take you up on it!

Mood: Eh.
Current Song: C is for Cookie by Cookie monster

Lazy mom's post Pictures

2007-04-25T09:40:00.000-04:00

Here's Volume's School Shot's:

Heres Trouble's School shots:

Motivation

2007-04-23T15:39:00.000-04:00

Or lack there of. I don't have much around here lately. The house is dirty, the kids run rampant and I park my ass on the couch and vegetate. I need to find my motivation again. I'm not sure where it went. If any of you see it, can you send it home?

thanks.

The boys have their "Autism Checkup" tomorrow. I'm hoping that helps my motivation issues. Also, it might help if the Master is offered a permanent position this week. I think getting them back in therapy is a good thing. CITE is coming back Wednesday, that should motivate me to clean, but its not. I'll prob just surface clean Tuesday. *sigh*

oh well, since I have no motivation, there is no news. So there is your update on my life....as boring as it may be.

It was the best of weeks, it was the worst of weeks

2007-04-20T08:43:00.000-04:00

OK, or something like that. Should I start with the good or the bad? I thought you'd say that...

So Tuesday the water heater stopped working...Bad
They were able to get one to us Wednesday...Good
The Master went to the Hospital on Thursday morning with Kidney Stones...Bad
He passed the first one after that without a problem...Good
Volume has been fighting a ton with Trouble...Bad
CITE http://www.rhcorp.org/cms/content/index came out for the boys Wednesday....Good

So that was my good/bad week. And for better or worse, its over now! Its almost Saturday and that means a weekend with the fam. Also, we get to go see the lion king on "Broadway" this Sunday. So that's something to look forward too.

Just thought you all might like a bit of an update!

Current Mood: Eh
Current Song: Hook by Blues Traveler

Normal Kids

2007-04-11T09:34:00.000-04:00

We hear this phrase all the time. "Normal Kids" Its like saying "Normal People" which is another phrase I hear and don't quite understand. What is a normal anything? Does it just mean that its the majority? So, in some circles, its NORMAL to be a criminal, because everyone else is.

Normalcy...I don't like it. I mean, why should I? Look at my life! It's been anything BUT normal. I prefer the term Typical. Then it sounds kind of derogatory. "Thats such Typical child behavior to be potty trained by now".

See? It works!

From now on, whenever you think normal, insert Typical and see if it still works. Thats my homework assignment for the 4 people who read this. Yes You...your one of them and you know it. Of course, now that I'm giving homework, this means no one will be reading my blog. *laughs at self* then I can reach the dream of being a lone in a crowd of people...even if its virtual.

Thats my deep thought for today. Not very deep, but then again, the munchkins are on spring break....so give me a bit of leeway.

Current Mood: Befuddled
Current Song: Joe Wise's Show me your Smile.

Oprah IS bad!

2007-04-06T08:05:00.000-04:00

So there I was, on the couch. Ice cream in my lap, Cookies near by...neither of which had calories. The kids? I dunno...who cares *grins*? I take the remote and turn on Oprah. Its gonna be a great show about speech. So the first guest that comes on stage has a 1 year old. He had started to talk, but had lost speech. His mother was baffled when he started to bark.

Yes, I said bark. Have you not realized yet that this was a dream? I mean, cookies and ice cream have calories....sheesh!

Yes, he could bark. He routinely talked to the family dog and somehow, his mother understood him. needless to say, when the alarm went off this morning, the neighbors little yappy dog was barking up a storm and the little light bulb went off above my head. I mean, I never watch Oprah. Ok, I rarely watch it. Its all the Oprah talk from Maven, I tell you!

So spring came and went and now we have winter again. I'm not sure which I prefer. I have no more mud and my computer room is a comfortable temperature again....BUT I have to cover my kids and they can't play outside much. I think its a give and take.

Current mood: Befuddled
Current Song: We'll make great pets!

We're 4 Year's Old!!!!

2007-04-02T12:45:00.000-04:00

"Four Years Old"

Hey

Why'd you wake me from my nap?

I'm not in the mood

To play your games

Or sit on your lap

You

Where's my Yankies drinking glass?

I want some juice

And I want it now

So you better move your ass

And feel bad for me

'Cuz I'm just getting over a cold

I'm four years old!

Somebody better tie my shoes!

Now

I run down the hall

I scream and I yell

And I cry 'cuz I fell

Bring the rubbing alcohol

Outside

I get mud on my shoe

I come back in the house

I get it on the rug

The cleaning's up to you

And I won't take a bath

Unless you make me Spaghetti-O's

I'm four years old!

Mommy reads to me at night

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

WellI can't have a job

And I can't go to school

If no grownups are around

I can't go near the pool

I'm not allowed to climb

My neighbor's apple tree

I'm not allowed to sit

Too close to the TV

I don't know how to drive

And I don't know how to spell

But if I hear my brother cursing

I do know how to tell

'Cuz he made me eat some bread

That was covered in mold

I'm four years old!

I just threw up on my grandmother

Thanks to Adam Sandler. They aren't quite like that, but you get the idea (those of you lucky enough NOT to have 4 year olds). Happy Birthday Volume and Trouble. They took cookies to school to share and have actually been behaving quite wonderful so far today. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the lunch of cookies and potato chips. And I KNOW they didn't understand when I told them we'd go get french fries later if they behave..right? I mean, they are autistic. They don't really see the world around them. Riiiiiiiight? *grins*

Other than that, its been the same. Volume is getting over his ear infection, we're all getting over a cold. I just couldn't let the blessed day go by without a blog. Back to my domestic life. Happy birthday Twin angels...ok, Twin cuties at least. ;)

No one reads this anyway

2007-03-29T09:19:00.000-04:00

or at least that's how it seems. Maybe its because I'm not predictable in my posting like Steve. Or not nearly as entertaining as Maven. oh well. I still stand by the fact that my blog is for me and no one else. So who cares if anyone reads it or not, right?

We had our weekend, sans kids. It was wonderful and blissful and quiet. Filled with WoW and red meat and sleeping in and naughty times. It was fantastic. Even if my children didn't let my parent's sleep. My parents drove my nephew (who was helping) insane. And the bed bugs my mom thought she got rid of ate up my kids. All was good.

Volume, of course, decides to get sick tuesday afternoon and they had their check up Wednesday afternoon. Turns out his "cold and fever" is an ear infection. On the pink stuff and off school till Monday. Which, coincidentally, is their 4th birthday. No parties here, please. There is no point when the kids avoid the party that is for them and hate to open gifts. *sigh* maybe someday huh?

On a good note, CITE called me last night and they are due a home visit in about a month to help teach me to potty train and other things. Lets hope this helps the insanity that will be this summer. We also have a fun with food class were signed up to do. :)

That's about it for now. No music except kids music of late, so no song today either.

CrabBall Hamitizers

2007-03-19T08:46:00.000-04:00

So it's our 10/13 year anniversary today. married 10 years and together 13. Nice that we made it easy on us and had it on the same day, huh? We only had to get married on a Wednesday to do it. But we are self sacrificing that way. *grins* We go by the TRADITIONAL wedding gifts, not the modern ones. http://www.weddingtips.com/annv.html The modern ones are so...useful. I mean, who wants a useful anniversary gift.

Lets see, the past 10 years of gifts I have got or gotten. First: paper. We wrote each other things. I gave him some poem and I got a top ten reasons why he loved me (my boobs being on there twice, of course). Second: Cotton. That year it was Disney wear all the way. Third: Leather. No, not what you think, we exchanged wallets and jackets. Fourth: Fruit/Flowers. We went to the melting pot and had fruit with desert and flowers on the table. Fifth: Wood. I love my dinning room table! Sixth: Candy/Iron. Who combines these? Its so odd! I think we did Chocolates. Seventh: Wool/Copper. I got a copper Dragon nightlight and wool roses (I collect weird roses). I got him wool lined slippers. Eighth: Bronze/Pottery. You know, I can't for the life of me remember what we did here. LOL. Ninth: Pottery/Willow. I got dishes and he got Sushi plates.

As for tenth, its Tin/Aluminum. We joked about getting one another a 12 pack. I'd tell you what I got him, but for some unknown reason, he reads my blog sometimes *grins* so you'll have to wait until after tonight. Next year is steel...any idea's folks? I'm thinking steel weapons! A guy can't have too many sharp objects....

As for my title? I guess I should get around to that, huh? My in-laws (or as I like to refer to them, my out-laws) finally made it here this weekend. My step-mother-in-law (yes, I also have a regular mother in law too...poor me) always brings various items from her fridge when she comes. I guess she's afraid they will go bad, or I won't have anything good to eat in my house. Or maybe the grocery stores near us will have all closed or something. I'm not sure.

But I digress....

This time, she brought her normal bread and lettuce (she doesn't seem to like my bread) and various fruits and some Amish eggs, of course. But the three meats she brought, which normally isn't this varied, were Ham, Meatballs and imitation Crab. The Master and I were discussing this on the way home from the play we went to see Saturday night. How could we combine these three items to make something we could eat. I mean, there are only 2 lunches and 3 dinners in a weekend. We almost always eat pizza for one dinner, so we only have 4 meals to get these 3 great meats into. Thats when we thought of the CrabBall Hamitizer.

Now before you run screaming, know that we didn't actually try this. SMIL wouldn't let us waste the crab. You take the meatball, smear the crab meat all over it and wrap it up in a slice of ham. To top it off, you stick one of those little toothpick swords in it. It has to be a sword, because were gaming geeks. His folks didn't find this idea as hysterical as we had. but it entertained us all the way home. I think we may go global with our new appetizer! What do you think? I thought so!

Current Mood: Silly
Current Song: Down Together - The Refreshments

Then you really might know what its like...

2007-03-16T12:37:00.000-04:00

In today's Center-Centric society, the term "walk a mile in someones shoes" is lost on most people. No, it does not mean you steal my shoes and actually walk a mile in them. It means more that you should try and put yourself in that persons place by thinking about it and trying to understand more of where they are coming from. We all judge. We all make judgements of others. Face it, the human race is one judgemental beast. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try and see things from other peoples perspective.

Why? Because it may help you. Take for instance the person who cuts you off and then honks at you on the freeway. Maybe their wife is having a baby. Maybe they had a really bad day and feel the need to take it out on you. It doesn't mean it gives them a right to do that and that you shouldn't be mad. BUT...before you judge that woman who picks up her kid by the arm and pulls him to her grocery cart.....THINK. STOP....walk a mile in their shoes.

Being a parent of Autistic, non-verbal 4 year old boys I can safely say I am judged quite frequently in public. Yes, they are adorable...and yes they are loud. NO they don't listen and they have to use sippy cups and are still in diapers. As Steve Novak would say, "Don't you judge me...don't you dare judge me." ;) But its a human habit. You see them sit in their van while their kids play on the playground and think "what a horrid mom" but...that could be her ONLY break time. And she has hit her limit and needs to separate herself, even if only by a pane of glass.

My point to my ramble and why you got too blogs today is to take a step back, take a deep breath and try...try...try to fight human nature to be judgemental and INSTEAD, walk a mile in their shoes. That woman pulling two toddlers by the arms as they scream in the store and looking like shes going to lose it could be me...and then you'd say "oh, but they are autistic" because you "know" me. Take as much consideration when your friend doesn't call, or your mom forgets your birthday and know they may not mean it the way you think.

One thing I have found that is true and always true with age. The older we are, the less we know. Think on it a while and it'll come to you. I know it will.

Walk a mile in their shoes. Then you really might know what its like...

Current mood: Deep
Current Song: Everlast "What its like"

My relationship with Spring....and MOOSE!

2007-03-15T12:24:00.001-04:00

So I have a love/hate relationship with spring. This relationship did not begin at an early age. in my younger years, I could care less about spring except for the fact that summer came after that and with summer came summer vacation. Spring was just another season for Easter and St. Patricks day to fall into. My love of spring began around the same time as my hate. I was diagnosed with Diabetes and my circulation got horrid. so spring meant it was getting warmer. We also got a dog. Kia is her name (and she came with the name) and shes part black lab, part golden retriever. Think of a smaller black Golden. She is the main reason I HATE spring. She loves to run and play with the other dogs along the fence line. Which is all well and good when the ground is summer baked or winter frozen or covered in fall leaves. In the spring, it turns into MUD DOG. Mud Dog then tracks it through my entire house! I spend my days wiping paws and floors and everything I can think of that she touches with those muddy paws. It drives me INSANE (though its not a long trip). So take your spring, I'll take any of the other 3 months EASY.

Moose. I promised a story from my childhood and here it is. My sister, Faerie, is 4.5 years older than me. She loved to torture me any opportunity she could get. I love to get back at her when I could as well. I was heading to a friends house for a few days. Her name was Stefanie (spelled with the F) and she had 2 older brothers. One of whom I had a huge crush on and later ended up dating. *sigh* he was dreamy. but I digress....

We all know how I adore the Violent Femmes. Well, Justin (yes, of WoJo) had recently given me Hallowed Ground tape (yes, this was before CD's...I'm old). I grabbed it to take it with me to Stefanies house to impress her brother with my cool music taste. (like it really worked...no it was the boobs that impressed him) Faerie decides that SHE wants the tape and starts to chase me around the house for it. We lived in a 2 bedroom apartment at the time and she got near the little kitchen and grabbed a steak knife and starts going after me.

Yes....a steak knife. Scary huh? Stef sure thought so, her with 2 older brothers.

So she's running after me with a steak knife and I hit the hallway. Bathroom or my moms room are my only choices. Its that or the crazy bitch with the steak knife. ALL this over a Violent Femmes tape that isn't even hers! I chose poorly and picked my mom's room, forgetting that her door doesn't lock. I press myself (smaller than her at the time, now I'm 3 inches taller) against the door and try to hold her out of the room.

She gets one arm in the crack of the door. At this time, she abandons the knife and starts trying to grab anything on the dresser that she can hit me with. She gets a hold of a bottle of Mouse. You know, the stuff you put in your hair? She starts thwapping me in the head with it, repeatedly. I wait a sec and let go of the door, she falls into the room and I bound over her and out the front door, Stefanie right behind me. I had forgotten my overnight bag. Good thing Stef's brother had some extra clothes *grins*.

So I end up at Stefs for a week to let my sister calm down. WITH the Violent Femmes tape (hooray for me) and a HUGE knot on my forehead. Everyone would ask me what happened and I would say "I got hit by a moose".

ok, it seems funny to me. You don't have to laugh, its fine. As far as my sister is concerned I'm not even a part of my family. They found me in the trash on their way to church.

Its a wonder I turned out as cool as I did!

Current Mood: Content and Calm
Current Music: Hallowed Ground Album by the Volient Femmes (yes, I still have the tape)

Friday Monday

2007-03-09T08:33:00.000-05:00

There's a little bit of water at the very bottom of the well. Playing buffy last night helped it rise a little higher, as well as getting to play a half ogre and a wyrmling copper dragon on Wednesday at the same time *grins*. The little things that make a difference in my life. Tired kids being cuddly kids last night also helped. Volume wanting to play kissyface most of the day ALWAYS helps. It doesn't replace the need of water in the well, just helps keep it from being empty.

Nothing is new, things are the same as they ever were ("same as it ever was" for those 80's fans) and so I'm not even sure WHY I'm blogging. I think so that my last negative blog isn't the last thing everyone sees. Or the first if you read in reverse.

I have a summer program/camp fair tomorrow at a local mall. Going to see if I can find some summer thing for the boys that doesn't involve massive amounts of money on our part. Although, we did find out that ARC pays for camp. Now I have to call and find out if there are particular camps or we can choose. Lets hope I can reach someone today. :)

I was going to go into an amusing antidote from my childhood today, but then all chaos broke loose here and I don't have the time ;)

The Well's Run DRY

2007-03-05T10:04:00.000-05:00

I think The Master and I have hit Empty. The gas tank is on E. The well has run dry. The reservoir and the main tank are EMPTY. We spent the weekend taking care of Volume, who has a cold, is getting his 4 year molars and has been constipated the last 4 days (yes, we have a 2pm appointment today). He's been a joy. Trouble, who has been less troublesome in comparison, is still his busy, active self. We sort of looked at one another last night and we knew we had hit bottom. At least for that day.

No matter what the day was like before, I seem to get a little back after a good nights sleep. I seem to be running on fumes today, but at least its better than nothing. I'm not one to whine or complain, but 2 ASD almost-4 year olds are a handful normally. Our overflowing wealth of babysitters (note the sarcasm) seems to have run pretty dry of late. It just seems we don't get much of a rest...together. We're both the type to take now and then breaks apart, but together rarely happens these days. Or it's an "after the kids go to bed" outing or a "2 hour dinner while the 14 year old watches them". I know its more than some parents get, but I think our need is greater. But I whine enough. We'll get what we get. No more no less.

On an up note, our "social activity" of World of Warcraft (WoW), we made 40 last night, which means we got to get mounts. Riding is a TON faster than walking. We were all excited. A few guild mates who were level 70 and bored ran us though an instance so we made mad cash, ton of XP and got a few quests rapped up. It was a fantastic WoW night, and I think we needed that.

Well, I'm off to get Volume ready for the doc and Trouble off the bus....somewhere in there can I clean my house too? *laughs and shakes her head at herself*

Mood: *sigh*
Song: Country Death Song by the Violent Femmes

For everyone else

2007-02-28T15:16:00.000-05:00

Volume Geeks and Trouble sleeps ;). These are prehaircut, but I thought that you might enjoy seeing how much our children are like us. I adore the chair trouble is in and that is SO Master pose for Volume ;)

Maven Asked...

2007-02-27T13:01:00.000-05:00

For photos of the boys new haircut, so here ya go, my canadian chikka. Volume, then Trouble.

Eating at the table none the less ;)

One of THOSE days

2007-02-24T17:22:00.000-05:00

Everyone has em. Those days where you just wanna crawl into a hole and tell the world to go away? One of those days where your kids cannot do anything right, your husbands every word grates on your nerve and your best friend calls at the wrong time? One of those days where your headache starts from the moment you get up and you get stuck in traffic AND they are out of your favorite coffee? Today, thankfully, is NOT one of THOSE days.

Today is a day just like any other, but like any other day, its filled with small aspects of THOSE days. I was just thinking "what is it that makes a horrid day?". I think its when you stack those little annoyances back to back and pack them into a nice 12 hour period. You too can be crapped on by your spouse, pestered by your children, receive a crying phone call from your mother AND get ganked by horde in WoW all in ONE WHOLE DAY!!! Sign up now and we're offering a free back-stabbing friend for the first month.

Seriously...My days, I'm sure like your own, are just nice times spaced between some not so nice times. It's an everyday. Nothing totally horrid happened, nothing spectacular either. Its the time between the moments that makes us long for the "moments". We go on breathing, living and growing. Most importantly, we move forward. For backwards gets you hitting hard objects. Take this from someone who knows.

Current Mood : Deep ;)
Current Song: James Blunt - Tears and Rain

Welcome to Holland

2007-02-18T12:19:00.000-05:00

I found this story going through my ASD stuff and thought it really explains things well, so I thought I would post it.

Welcome to Holland By Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to help people who have not shared this unique experience, to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

It's like this.

When your going to have a baby, its like planning a fabulous vacation - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make wonderful plans. The coliseum. Michelangelo's David. The Gondolas in Venice. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy!"

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never met. It's just a different place. Its slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around. And you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. And Holland has Tulips. Holland even has Rembrandt's.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy. And they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there.

And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain will never, ever go away. Because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Firsts

2007-02-17T09:32:00.000-05:00

So Trouble got invited to his first birthday party. The invitation came in the mail addressed to him. The Master and I were so excited and when we opened it, there was no name, date or time. Just a Run, Jump-N-Play invite. I sent a letter to school and in a few days they pegged down which kid was having a party. I called his mom and found out the date and time. Its today at one. We were so excited that he got his first party invite, even though she probably just invited everyone in his class, it was still pretty cool.

The day is here, we skipped swimming because were all still on the mend from colds and didn't want him too tired AND its snowing...which means he may miss his first birthday party. The roads look ugly and its like 40 min away. *sigh* So I'm a tad bummed. Although *I* will not miss the dance of the mothers. Yes, this is what I call it, and in circles where children have disabilities or dysfunctions, its a bit tamer, but still a dance, none-the-less.

It starts simple enough with the exchange of your names, pointing out your kids, telling ages and sometimes dysfunctions. Then the dance begins. The compare your kid to my kid OR the lets figure out if I can tolerate her presence for a play date. All these I fail miserably at. While I am liked and even (dare I say) loved in my social circles, to most women, I can come off has harsh and abrasive. I'm a tad honest and overly blunt and so at these things I either follow my kid around or revert to the junior high school shy. YES I was shy then, believe it or not. So networking is NOT my strong suit, no matter how much I'd love to have another house to take them too in the summer. SO I don't have to call Piglet and say "Can you pick up all of Sweetling's little toys and help me chase them around your house? they need out." or call my mother and deal with her for a few hours. I really need to look into summer programs. *sighs*

So...we may or may not have a first birthday party and I may or may not have the dance of the mothers anxiety. Honestly, I'm not sure which to hope for. I figure I'll leave it up to the beings more powerful than myself to decide. God and Mother Nature.

Current mood: Torn
Current Song: Power of Two by the Indigo Girls

Winter Cuteness

2007-02-14T07:47:00.000-05:00

So, I'm sure most of you have seen this, but if you haven't...this is what we refer to around here as "an 11 on the cuteness-o-meter" or "he currently has his cuteness cranked up to 11"

So...Thats Volume. I have to get one of trouble, but hes not nearly as active as that. Can anyone see why I'm tired? That and two snow days in a row does NOT help. Thank god for online RP's which save my sanity. And for the Maven and her endless hours of talking to me on the phone. Wait...Actually it hasn't been endless. In fact, they end rather fast of late. I'm starting to think she either has a life, or a new baby *grins*. I'm still waiting for pictures of the cute shirt I sent!

Current Mood: Tired...of snow and snot
Current Song: PJ Rooster by Outkast